Thank you for this, Lisa. And I like the swearing! ;)
Some of my wants:
-I want a small, deep life. Not a large, shallow one.
- I want vacations that enrich my mind and relax my body. Not popular destinations to post on Instagram to prove that I am well travelled and should be envied.
- I want to not be bombarded every second of every day with what I should be consuming for a "better" version of myself.
- I want to have conversations that lead to a mutual feeling of having been seen and heard instead of a striving to be the one who is "right."
- I want to never again be asked the question "what do you do?" right after introducing myself to someone. Instead, maybe "what do you love?"
- I want to not be afraid of what I don't understand.
- I want to write and paint without people suggesting I should do it "professionally."
- I want coffee and books and naps and walks and laughter and tears.
- I want to do yoga and wear flow-y skirts and let my hair go grey and not care about wrinkles or sunspots without being labeled as a "hippie."
- I want being "sensitive" to be something that people strive for instead of condemn as a negative trait.
- I want a lower volume and softer lights.
- I want a sense of peace to settle over our planet like a soft rain that lulls everyone into a collective state of well-being.
Everything on here is so resonant, so beautiful, so potent and human and soft. I appreciate you sharing your wants -- I hope they find you and you find them. <3
I am graduating in two weeks, yesterday was my final farewell party . After I came home everything felt like it stopped, life is stopping. Not knowing where to go, how to go, whom to ask brought tears down like a slow waterfall. ALL of those thought you wrote were in my head, trying to figure my truest self among this crazy world. This letter brought me comfort in knowing I am not only the one wanting to be different than this world, its okay if I choose expansion as way of living and become comfortable in the unknown and not feel alone when I can't catch up to pace of the world. Thank You So Much!!
Goodness, I know that feeling well -- that feeling of life feeling like it's stopping and starting over at the same time during moments of those big transitions. Finding comfort in the unknown has been one of the most supportive, spiritual, and nourishing practices of my life. I hope you offer yourself so much grace and kindness as you move through this season <3
Congrats on your almost graduation! I just wanted to reply to wish you so much peace during this tough transition. Your words really resonated with me because I suffered depressive breakdowns after both my high school and college graduations. The structure of school and learning always made sense to me. I didn't have to question if I was doing something that mattered by expanding my mind and connecting with peers because it felt real and true and important. But being thrown into a post-college world that seems to only care about money and status and labels and checking off the boxes of what's expected after graduation- getting a job, buying a house, having a family, etc.- felt so harsh and rushed and inauthentic. In school you are taught that anything is possible and you are given the space and time to dream. In reality, life is so fast-paced nowadays that if you choose to live a slower, simpler life, you feel like you are getting left behind. But trust yourself and try to delight in the fact that you may just vibrate on a lower frequency than the rest of the world and that is okay. Good luck fellow sensitive soul. You are most certainly not alone. 🙏
i’ve been feeling this so much lately. the way the internet grants those of us who may otherwise never have had it the opportunity to be heard—but only on its own, ever-expanding, ever-demanding, deeply extractive capitalist terms. been trying to write & think & feel my way through it—but it’s so hard. sending you much solidarity xxx
Beautiful as usual =) and it prompted such beautiful comments/reflections as well =)
The video recording by Saeed Jones, is something i think about so often... like damn, life really must be cruel if we have to be so intentional about our state of being ALL the time, that we "have" to practice mindfulness (or some other mental tool) constantly or we're missing out, not in the moment, not truly experiencing (like am I really here if I'm not hearing the breeze, feeling the ground beneath me, smelling the scents around me, seeing the colors in the room)... if we practice mindfulness we won't be depressed, won't be anxious, won't be as triggered, will just be better. Don't get me wrong, mindfulness helps me in so many ways, and can bring me a sense of peace, and I find it fun to try to notice things in my environment i've never noticed before. But I also find it exhausting... another way to feel like i'm not doing enough, especially if I'm in a down... like oh I must not be trying hard enough.
More than anything, I want ease. I want to feel safe in my body. I want to be aware of my needs. I want to know what I want. I want to trust what I want and not question it. I want my wants to be louder. I want to be brave enough to hear my wants, to follow my wants.
Lisa- I’ve been fiercely consuming your words since discovering you on Substack and this post made me feel all the feels. I have at least 3 or 4 rambling entries in my journals that echo so much of what you wrote.
You know what tells me that you’re a good human? That even though this post is titled, “What I want”, you spent a massive portion painting a beautiful image of how you want our collective world to look. That my friend, is beautiful.
“ I want the yellow bird I see outside my window right now to be more powerful than an Instagram post.” This line really resonated with me. I have recognized the loss of appreciation for real tangible life and noticing that social media and technology can steal that for me. I want simplier. I want more letting out than taking in. I want more space in my mind and it to not be filled to the brim with information. I want slow, and intentional. I want to not push but let things fall into place. I want organic growth and not something that I strive and have to pay thousands of dollars for. Thank you for sharing your journey. I feel like all of these posts are timely as I embark to put my work out in the world. Such beautiful guidance for me. I appreciate your work so much Lisa!
Thank you for this, Lisa. And I like the swearing! ;)
Some of my wants:
-I want a small, deep life. Not a large, shallow one.
- I want vacations that enrich my mind and relax my body. Not popular destinations to post on Instagram to prove that I am well travelled and should be envied.
- I want to not be bombarded every second of every day with what I should be consuming for a "better" version of myself.
- I want to have conversations that lead to a mutual feeling of having been seen and heard instead of a striving to be the one who is "right."
- I want to never again be asked the question "what do you do?" right after introducing myself to someone. Instead, maybe "what do you love?"
- I want to not be afraid of what I don't understand.
- I want to write and paint without people suggesting I should do it "professionally."
- I want coffee and books and naps and walks and laughter and tears.
- I want to do yoga and wear flow-y skirts and let my hair go grey and not care about wrinkles or sunspots without being labeled as a "hippie."
- I want being "sensitive" to be something that people strive for instead of condemn as a negative trait.
- I want a lower volume and softer lights.
- I want a sense of peace to settle over our planet like a soft rain that lulls everyone into a collective state of well-being.
Everything on here is so resonant, so beautiful, so potent and human and soft. I appreciate you sharing your wants -- I hope they find you and you find them. <3
This is such a beautiful list.
So good! Asking the question, 'what do you love' instead of 'what do you do' I've started asking, what are you most excited about right now?
What if I want a porch swing?
What if I want a wild and unruly garden to spirit me to wonder and awe?
What if I want connection? Real. Raw. Rooted.
What if I want a library full of books I've read and ones others might like better?
What if I want a fucking revolution
instead of eternal false promises and
itsy
bitsy
incremental
shifts?
Instead of trampling others down to make my way?
Instead of 6 "charming" bedrooms, 4 "modern" baths, and a finished basement
(with attached 8 car garage!)?
Instead of
[a ring, a baby, and]
a single path for my body to slink down
while the best of me drifts away?
In my dreams I swing
gently.
I listen to the pollen puttering of bees.
I am alive with the electric force of seeing another
and feeling seen.
I have a stack of luscious words piled up on the creaky floorboards and I sip them
slowly
like a warm drink.
I am full.
Gorgeous.
I am graduating in two weeks, yesterday was my final farewell party . After I came home everything felt like it stopped, life is stopping. Not knowing where to go, how to go, whom to ask brought tears down like a slow waterfall. ALL of those thought you wrote were in my head, trying to figure my truest self among this crazy world. This letter brought me comfort in knowing I am not only the one wanting to be different than this world, its okay if I choose expansion as way of living and become comfortable in the unknown and not feel alone when I can't catch up to pace of the world. Thank You So Much!!
Goodness, I know that feeling well -- that feeling of life feeling like it's stopping and starting over at the same time during moments of those big transitions. Finding comfort in the unknown has been one of the most supportive, spiritual, and nourishing practices of my life. I hope you offer yourself so much grace and kindness as you move through this season <3
Congrats on your almost graduation! I just wanted to reply to wish you so much peace during this tough transition. Your words really resonated with me because I suffered depressive breakdowns after both my high school and college graduations. The structure of school and learning always made sense to me. I didn't have to question if I was doing something that mattered by expanding my mind and connecting with peers because it felt real and true and important. But being thrown into a post-college world that seems to only care about money and status and labels and checking off the boxes of what's expected after graduation- getting a job, buying a house, having a family, etc.- felt so harsh and rushed and inauthentic. In school you are taught that anything is possible and you are given the space and time to dream. In reality, life is so fast-paced nowadays that if you choose to live a slower, simpler life, you feel like you are getting left behind. But trust yourself and try to delight in the fact that you may just vibrate on a lower frequency than the rest of the world and that is okay. Good luck fellow sensitive soul. You are most certainly not alone. 🙏
This is so loving <3
I am coming back to this whenever its feels hard, Thank you so much for kind words and love, I am clinging to it
Thinking of you! <3
“I want simple to be a landing place.” These are the words I want to guide my summer.
Me too <3
i’ve been feeling this so much lately. the way the internet grants those of us who may otherwise never have had it the opportunity to be heard—but only on its own, ever-expanding, ever-demanding, deeply extractive capitalist terms. been trying to write & think & feel my way through it—but it’s so hard. sending you much solidarity xxx
Goodness, yes to all of this. It's so hard. Thank you for sharing here <3
So much to think about! Your words get right to the point as usual, thank you. I will be thinking about all of this for a long time.
Thank you for reading!
This is beautiful! The paragraph "I want creativity to look like truth." Powerful. Thank you!
Thank you so much -- trying to make it so <3
Beautiful as usual =) and it prompted such beautiful comments/reflections as well =)
The video recording by Saeed Jones, is something i think about so often... like damn, life really must be cruel if we have to be so intentional about our state of being ALL the time, that we "have" to practice mindfulness (or some other mental tool) constantly or we're missing out, not in the moment, not truly experiencing (like am I really here if I'm not hearing the breeze, feeling the ground beneath me, smelling the scents around me, seeing the colors in the room)... if we practice mindfulness we won't be depressed, won't be anxious, won't be as triggered, will just be better. Don't get me wrong, mindfulness helps me in so many ways, and can bring me a sense of peace, and I find it fun to try to notice things in my environment i've never noticed before. But I also find it exhausting... another way to feel like i'm not doing enough, especially if I'm in a down... like oh I must not be trying hard enough.
More than anything, I want ease. I want to feel safe in my body. I want to be aware of my needs. I want to know what I want. I want to trust what I want and not question it. I want my wants to be louder. I want to be brave enough to hear my wants, to follow my wants.
Lisa- I’ve been fiercely consuming your words since discovering you on Substack and this post made me feel all the feels. I have at least 3 or 4 rambling entries in my journals that echo so much of what you wrote.
You know what tells me that you’re a good human? That even though this post is titled, “What I want”, you spent a massive portion painting a beautiful image of how you want our collective world to look. That my friend, is beautiful.
“ I want the yellow bird I see outside my window right now to be more powerful than an Instagram post.” This line really resonated with me. I have recognized the loss of appreciation for real tangible life and noticing that social media and technology can steal that for me. I want simplier. I want more letting out than taking in. I want more space in my mind and it to not be filled to the brim with information. I want slow, and intentional. I want to not push but let things fall into place. I want organic growth and not something that I strive and have to pay thousands of dollars for. Thank you for sharing your journey. I feel like all of these posts are timely as I embark to put my work out in the world. Such beautiful guidance for me. I appreciate your work so much Lisa!