Minutes before I opened your essay, MINUTES!, I signed up for a virtual 3-day Sept retreat with Anne Lamott, SARK, Julia Cameron, et al. It was a HUGE step for me to NOT give in to my fears by telling myself I don’t need to spend money for those kinds of impossible dreams. I GET WHAT YOU’RE SAYING…AND I’M TWICE YOUR AGE! 💜
I share your awe in realizing these ideas are age independent. Also life situation independent. I think we can all fit these ideas into our own puzzle in a meaningful way :-)
Exactly what I needed to read this morning, as I sit with the fear of what will be on the other side of all this trying. And asking myself in what ways have I not been able to recognize my own trying?
Everything about this. I tried to pinpoint which part resonated the most and I can’t. I’m on similar journeys with life, motherhood, and my body and am grateful for your words. 💛
Felt this so strongly as I read your words round motherhood, your relationship with your body and feeling fearful of trying something outside of your comfort zone. I’m also trying x
Lisa, A long time ago I resolved that at the end, when I look back at my life I would not say, "I wish I would have." This resolution has led to more failures than successes. And I am glad I experienced them all. There is a richness in trying. My hope is that you come to feel that trying is worth it regardless of the outcome. D
“I’m working on untangling from the fear of trying — untangling the difference between wanting a small, simple life and actively avoiding going for more in certain areas not because I don’t want it, but because I’m afraid I won’t reach if it I try.” - as someone who values peace and simplicity man this really resonated! Thanks for sharing!
Came here to say the same thing, this quote especially resonated. Balancing ambition for fullness and desire for simplicity in what I already have, that feeling of "what is enough?" swirling. Thank you for putting to words what's floating around in my own consciousness, Lisa!
This was one of the parts that resonated most for me too.
For me, it’s an ongoing process of reconnecting and conversing with all parts of myself, beginning to recognise where exactly those contradictions reside and finding a way to hold the tension between ease and expansion.
Loving it. Joining you in the trying. Picturing a world where people are trying, talking about it, laughing about the challenges and revelations. Living, together. :-)
“I’m treating her like a full human being, like someone with just as much power as me, someone who deserves the same respect, patience, nurturance and compassion as any adult does.” 💞💞
I was raised to believe that scared feeling when trying something new meant that it wasn’t the right thing to do. For a long time I only did things that didn’t feel that way. But all along I still had to carry the longing and the disappointment that the deeper life was only for others. It took me years to finally write novels. Now I have a horse that I always wanted but I’m scared of him. It’s starting from scratch but your words remind me that every little try matters
My heart pulsed when I read the title in my inbox, knowing there would be something here for me. That those words "the tenderness of trying" encapsulated something of my lived experience (right now? always?) so perfectly.
But then I read this, and felt the welling up of tears. This is exactly what I needed to read.
"The tenderness of trying is woven up in not knowing how it will go, not knowing whether success or failure or some combination will result, not knowing who I’ll be on the other side, not knowing if I’ll embarrass myself or impress myself or confuse myself, not knowing much at all. There is a sense of knowing when we don’t try. There is more to be in control of, more to be sure about, more to be certain of. When I don’t try, the only possible outcome is it not happening; when I do try, it could bring disappointment or discomfort, a crash and burn of experiences I’m not always sure I’ll be able to handle. But what I’m remembering is that trying can also bring complete delight, opportunities to drop in, to connect, to share our gifts or our wonderings or ourselves. And when we choose to do that, something always comes of it, whether in expected or unexpected ways."
There is a sense of knowing when we don't try. Yes.
And when we do, this wide open unknown. Exhilarating and terrifying and yes so incredibly, almost impossibly tender. But still, in the end, I think it's what lets us know we are still alive. Still have hope. the very audacity of our willingness to try (or our inability not to, in the end) is everything.
This was beautiful and tender, and precisely the mantra I needed to hear from someone outside of myself this week. There is the "try harder" of the hustle and grind culture that constantly screams for more, but this tender trying you write of is the place of enough. May all of our trying this week be enough. Thank you.
So grateful it connected with you; I har you on the "try harder" piece, and find asking how Trying can happen from a softer place. Thank you for reading <3
I love the way that you write. I sometimes find myself skimming on Substack but your writing slows me down. I appreciate the reminder that the doubts can swirl AND we can still try. I cheer you on as you rediscover your body. May you love her more than you ever have.
Beautiful, poetic and inspiring. Thank you for this generous and humanizing post. Listening to the interview with Ocean Vuong now. Much gratitude for your work.
Minutes before I opened your essay, MINUTES!, I signed up for a virtual 3-day Sept retreat with Anne Lamott, SARK, Julia Cameron, et al. It was a HUGE step for me to NOT give in to my fears by telling myself I don’t need to spend money for those kinds of impossible dreams. I GET WHAT YOU’RE SAYING…AND I’M TWICE YOUR AGE! 💜
I love this -- and YES to saying yes to something you love, desire, long for, want to move toward. Big fan of this.
I share your awe in realizing these ideas are age independent. Also life situation independent. I think we can all fit these ideas into our own puzzle in a meaningful way :-)
Exactly what I needed to read this morning, as I sit with the fear of what will be on the other side of all this trying. And asking myself in what ways have I not been able to recognize my own trying?
That question is so powerful -- so beautiful.
Everything about this. I tried to pinpoint which part resonated the most and I can’t. I’m on similar journeys with life, motherhood, and my body and am grateful for your words. 💛
Thank you for reading and for the resonance <3
My favorite thing about Sundays ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
So grateful. xx
Felt this so strongly as I read your words round motherhood, your relationship with your body and feeling fearful of trying something outside of your comfort zone. I’m also trying x
Yes to trying -- it's all a lot and the trying counts. <3
Lisa, A long time ago I resolved that at the end, when I look back at my life I would not say, "I wish I would have." This resolution has led to more failures than successes. And I am glad I experienced them all. There is a richness in trying. My hope is that you come to feel that trying is worth it regardless of the outcome. D
Yes to more failures than successes! I've found the riches in trying in so many ways and I know that will continue to deepen.
“I’m working on untangling from the fear of trying — untangling the difference between wanting a small, simple life and actively avoiding going for more in certain areas not because I don’t want it, but because I’m afraid I won’t reach if it I try.” - as someone who values peace and simplicity man this really resonated! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing!
Came here to say the same thing, this quote especially resonated. Balancing ambition for fullness and desire for simplicity in what I already have, that feeling of "what is enough?" swirling. Thank you for putting to words what's floating around in my own consciousness, Lisa!
This was one of the parts that resonated most for me too.
For me, it’s an ongoing process of reconnecting and conversing with all parts of myself, beginning to recognise where exactly those contradictions reside and finding a way to hold the tension between ease and expansion.
Loving it. Joining you in the trying. Picturing a world where people are trying, talking about it, laughing about the challenges and revelations. Living, together. :-)
It's a wonderful thing to picture.
“I’m treating her like a full human being, like someone with just as much power as me, someone who deserves the same respect, patience, nurturance and compassion as any adult does.” 💞💞
<3 <3
I was raised to believe that scared feeling when trying something new meant that it wasn’t the right thing to do. For a long time I only did things that didn’t feel that way. But all along I still had to carry the longing and the disappointment that the deeper life was only for others. It took me years to finally write novels. Now I have a horse that I always wanted but I’m scared of him. It’s starting from scratch but your words remind me that every little try matters
"Every little try matters" This <3
This is so strongly resembling! Thank you for this comment, it made me feel seen in a very striking way.
My heart pulsed when I read the title in my inbox, knowing there would be something here for me. That those words "the tenderness of trying" encapsulated something of my lived experience (right now? always?) so perfectly.
But then I read this, and felt the welling up of tears. This is exactly what I needed to read.
"The tenderness of trying is woven up in not knowing how it will go, not knowing whether success or failure or some combination will result, not knowing who I’ll be on the other side, not knowing if I’ll embarrass myself or impress myself or confuse myself, not knowing much at all. There is a sense of knowing when we don’t try. There is more to be in control of, more to be sure about, more to be certain of. When I don’t try, the only possible outcome is it not happening; when I do try, it could bring disappointment or discomfort, a crash and burn of experiences I’m not always sure I’ll be able to handle. But what I’m remembering is that trying can also bring complete delight, opportunities to drop in, to connect, to share our gifts or our wonderings or ourselves. And when we choose to do that, something always comes of it, whether in expected or unexpected ways."
There is a sense of knowing when we don't try. Yes.
And when we do, this wide open unknown. Exhilarating and terrifying and yes so incredibly, almost impossibly tender. But still, in the end, I think it's what lets us know we are still alive. Still have hope. the very audacity of our willingness to try (or our inability not to, in the end) is everything.
Yes, yes, yes to all of this. Thank you for sharing it. xx
so beautiful and thoughtful <33 thank you so much for this post!
Thank you for reading!
I’m trying.
Cheers-ing from my cacao to that!
This was beautiful and tender, and precisely the mantra I needed to hear from someone outside of myself this week. There is the "try harder" of the hustle and grind culture that constantly screams for more, but this tender trying you write of is the place of enough. May all of our trying this week be enough. Thank you.
So grateful it connected with you; I har you on the "try harder" piece, and find asking how Trying can happen from a softer place. Thank you for reading <3
I love the way that you write. I sometimes find myself skimming on Substack but your writing slows me down. I appreciate the reminder that the doubts can swirl AND we can still try. I cheer you on as you rediscover your body. May you love her more than you ever have.
I'm so grateful for your reflection; and I am working on it, truly. <3
Beautiful, poetic and inspiring. Thank you for this generous and humanizing post. Listening to the interview with Ocean Vuong now. Much gratitude for your work.
He's just such a special human; I could listen to him speak for hours. Thank you for reading. <3