“But when we choose to turn toward our callings, toward our expression, toward the things we love, toward the things that remind us of what it means to hold a spark within, outside of any roles we hold or any particular path we’re on… we remember what the whole point of being here is: to be fully alive, and to do everything in our power to live in ways that allow us to do that.“
Wow. Yes. This is lovely, Lisa. For the last two years I’ve been circling around what I’ve been calling “gathering the scattered parts”. I feel like I have left myself in bits and pieces and now I’m going back to tenderly pick every part back up. There’s so much grief in this work. So. Much. Grief. But I’m not willing to abandon myself anymore. I know it - deep in my bones - that all the things that I want to do, what I want my life to stand for, how I want to be helpful and of service to others, are meant to be done in wholeness. Your words, as they so often do, spur me on and I am grateful. Thank you, Lisa.
Your writing and all of the lovely shares have converged into such a relatable blend for reflecting on today. Thank you. I am also learning to find the left-behind pieces of myself after leaving a career in mental health. I found your post freeing, because I realized I was unconsciously following a self-imposed rule that it was only okay to do things for myself that ALSO ultimately helped me to serve other people (for example: reading a novel will help me explore new perspectives which will help me connect better with others, mindfulness practice will allow me to be more patient and less reactive with others, exercising will help me to stay healthy and able to care for others....etcetera). While I have given myself permission to do these glorious things, I don't have to justify them with...well...anything. I don't have to couch what I do with an assertion that it will make me a better person. While benefits to others are totally wonderful outcomes from activities that bring me meaning, doing something because it makes me feel alive is always a 'good enough' reason.
I think KC Davis's message about the moral neutrality of care tasks is so important. As a former Occupational Therapist I feel frustrated that what she is describing is really at the heart of Occupational Therapy, and yet so few people have access to this type of support or even know OT exists. Wouldn't it be great if there were healthcare providers that started with where you were at and supported you in coming up with a collaborative and creative plan to doing the things that are most important to you, regardless of the barriers? Yes! It's called Occupational Therapy. Imagine if healthcare providers talked to you about doing your laundry or washing dishes. Yes! That was part of all of my initial assessments with folks when I worked in community mental health. While I'm no longer an OT I still believe so whole-heartedly in the value of the profession; here's hoping that more people can learn about and access these services when in need. Regardless, I'm glad people like KC Davis are pointing to the wealth of knowledge people have gained from lived experience. We can learn so much from each other in so many important ways.
I was thinking if this exact thing this morning. Also a new mom and long Covid migraine lasting a year+ I had to stop working for ny startup that I cofounded 6 months ago which was miserable and in this cavern of pain and isolation I have been reading and writing and I finally feel like I'm reaching some part of my mind that was shut off, the creative kind. I was always creative as an entrepreneur but that's different. The creative in writing and reading is for beauty, truth, it's spiritual. So that's my reward, if I keep pursuing it! Thank yo for sharing, feels great to discover when you aren't alone
I love and connected with so many parts of this. The parts about going into a helper profession, the parts about losing creativity, and focusing on all of our free time even on things that serve others. There seems to be a shift back to remembering that we are human beings first, not human doings. I too am trying to find joy and play and creativity again. It has been so dang hard after trauma for me. But when creativity or play pops up I try to make space for it. Thank you again for your thoughts and word.
“It’s this remembering of who I am outside of what I do for others that has been asking for my attention.”
Yes, that’s very much been my experience, too. I was forced out of my career as a pastor thanks to new political realities and COVID, and it’s been traumatic. I still don’t know how to generate enough income to survive.
It’s also enabled me to rediscover my authentic self and write whatever I feel like writing. My writing often helps others, as yours does, but it’s healing for me, too, and also enjoyable.
I definitely felt more comfortable in the role of the helper as opposed to the one needing help, but I appreciate the freedom I have now, and the deeper friendships based on mutual honest sharing.
I’m a lifelong Bruce Springsteen fan, and his song lyrics so often speak to me. Two examples:
1. “Wendy let me in, I want to be your friend, I want to guard your dreams and visions” (from “Born to Run,” and now the ringtone when my husband calls me)
2. “Oh girl, that feeling of safety you prize, it comes with a hard, hard price. You can’t shut out the risk and the pain without losing the love that remains. We’re all riders on this train.” (from “Human Touch”)
I needed to read this today. I, too, was a creative girl who somehow lost the thread. The world makes it very easy, especially for women, to lose their spark or discount the importance of stoking the fire. Thank you for reminding me, giving me a nudge, to take time to explore.
Lisa, this essay comes so close to my journey right now. I’m an associate therapist, about 900 hours away from licensure. I do this work because I believe in the healing power of listening and because I was one of those lifelong helpers you mentioned who’s been really good at being there for everyone else since I was a little girl. But the older I grow, the more I understand the essential need to include myself in my own life. To create freedom, expression, and art every step of the way. To nurture my wants, attend to my needs, and protect my limits. My hunch is that our choices to center our own unfolding is what sustains us for the long haul.
My favorite affirmation from the Artist’s Way (did you decide to read it? I think I saw you were considering it earlier this fall) is “My creativity heals myself and others.” Wow. How about this both/and of healing and creating as our reality? How about pottery, songwriting, photography, and sharing your writing isn’t antithetical to healing? How about a kind of healing that doesn’t have to look like listening all the time? How about our personal creativity as a sign of collective flourishing?
Thanks for the space to muse on these ideas in a comment. When I saw those pictures of you in creative flow from earlier times in your life, it resonated so deeply. Thank you for honoring the artist within you. My inner artist appreciates it. 💓
Thank you so much for your sharing...I am a therapist and am at the beginning stages of preparing to take time off as well. I am so curious about your journey and am wondering if you may feel open to having a conversation to share and connect a bit more over this process. If you'd like to learn more about me first (since I'm a stranger) let me know and I'm glad to open up a bit more. A lot of what you named resonated with the process I am in after 15 years of doing intensive work with clients focused on trauma and healing. With deep appreciation - Heather
Thank you for sharing your expression Lisa. It felt like looking in a mirror reading this ✨ the way you write is enjoyable and gave me some unexpected clarity on things
Uuuf, okay. So I finished reading this piece yesterday when I was sitting across my wife, and tears flooded my eyes and I cried. I felt so seen and heard with this piece (as a therapist myself and have launch my career fully this year) -- I truly feel like my pieces; of me writing, singing, playing guitar, photographing the world, tending to museums, collecting flowers during walks, making pottery, painting, dancing.... all have slowly departed away, and have collected dust. This hit home. Yesterday, I felt the slump of that, and just let it live a bit to then reclaim. I brought my new sewing machine that had been in the depths of my closet because I haven’t “had time to start” 🥺 -- but truly, I’ve just been too scared to try something new or think of anything else about myself. I rather pick up the next book for my clients, then read a poetry book that fuels my creative soul. 😮💨 I am reclaiming. And this post, Lisa.. has helped me welcome those pieces/parts of myself little by little, and welcome to just be curious about welcoming my expression once again. 🤍 thank you again for your reminders; I appreciate them wholeheartedly.
I needed to read this so much. I recently left a fifteen year career in higher education, a field I had up until recently thought I would spend my whole career doing. What I discovered since the pandemic started was that my institution was continuing to ask more and more from me at work without providing support and becoming more and more hostile to me taking time for myself and creative pursuits.
I initially felt a lot of shame about leaving, like I was abandoning my values in pursuit of more me and family time. Your words here have help so much for me to reconcile those feelings and lean into what I will gain from a move like this.
lisa, I've been subscribed to your newsletter for a couple months now, and seeing them pop up in my inbox every sunday has become one of my weekly joys. thank you for writing and sharing from your heart. it is felt deeply by people like myself.
“But when we choose to turn toward our callings, toward our expression, toward the things we love, toward the things that remind us of what it means to hold a spark within, outside of any roles we hold or any particular path we’re on… we remember what the whole point of being here is: to be fully alive, and to do everything in our power to live in ways that allow us to do that.“
Wow. Yes. This is lovely, Lisa. For the last two years I’ve been circling around what I’ve been calling “gathering the scattered parts”. I feel like I have left myself in bits and pieces and now I’m going back to tenderly pick every part back up. There’s so much grief in this work. So. Much. Grief. But I’m not willing to abandon myself anymore. I know it - deep in my bones - that all the things that I want to do, what I want my life to stand for, how I want to be helpful and of service to others, are meant to be done in wholeness. Your words, as they so often do, spur me on and I am grateful. Thank you, Lisa.
Your writing and all of the lovely shares have converged into such a relatable blend for reflecting on today. Thank you. I am also learning to find the left-behind pieces of myself after leaving a career in mental health. I found your post freeing, because I realized I was unconsciously following a self-imposed rule that it was only okay to do things for myself that ALSO ultimately helped me to serve other people (for example: reading a novel will help me explore new perspectives which will help me connect better with others, mindfulness practice will allow me to be more patient and less reactive with others, exercising will help me to stay healthy and able to care for others....etcetera). While I have given myself permission to do these glorious things, I don't have to justify them with...well...anything. I don't have to couch what I do with an assertion that it will make me a better person. While benefits to others are totally wonderful outcomes from activities that bring me meaning, doing something because it makes me feel alive is always a 'good enough' reason.
I think KC Davis's message about the moral neutrality of care tasks is so important. As a former Occupational Therapist I feel frustrated that what she is describing is really at the heart of Occupational Therapy, and yet so few people have access to this type of support or even know OT exists. Wouldn't it be great if there were healthcare providers that started with where you were at and supported you in coming up with a collaborative and creative plan to doing the things that are most important to you, regardless of the barriers? Yes! It's called Occupational Therapy. Imagine if healthcare providers talked to you about doing your laundry or washing dishes. Yes! That was part of all of my initial assessments with folks when I worked in community mental health. While I'm no longer an OT I still believe so whole-heartedly in the value of the profession; here's hoping that more people can learn about and access these services when in need. Regardless, I'm glad people like KC Davis are pointing to the wealth of knowledge people have gained from lived experience. We can learn so much from each other in so many important ways.
✨
Loved everything about this ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing ✨
I was thinking if this exact thing this morning. Also a new mom and long Covid migraine lasting a year+ I had to stop working for ny startup that I cofounded 6 months ago which was miserable and in this cavern of pain and isolation I have been reading and writing and I finally feel like I'm reaching some part of my mind that was shut off, the creative kind. I was always creative as an entrepreneur but that's different. The creative in writing and reading is for beauty, truth, it's spiritual. So that's my reward, if I keep pursuing it! Thank yo for sharing, feels great to discover when you aren't alone
I love and connected with so many parts of this. The parts about going into a helper profession, the parts about losing creativity, and focusing on all of our free time even on things that serve others. There seems to be a shift back to remembering that we are human beings first, not human doings. I too am trying to find joy and play and creativity again. It has been so dang hard after trauma for me. But when creativity or play pops up I try to make space for it. Thank you again for your thoughts and word.
“It’s this remembering of who I am outside of what I do for others that has been asking for my attention.”
Yes, that’s very much been my experience, too. I was forced out of my career as a pastor thanks to new political realities and COVID, and it’s been traumatic. I still don’t know how to generate enough income to survive.
It’s also enabled me to rediscover my authentic self and write whatever I feel like writing. My writing often helps others, as yours does, but it’s healing for me, too, and also enjoyable.
I definitely felt more comfortable in the role of the helper as opposed to the one needing help, but I appreciate the freedom I have now, and the deeper friendships based on mutual honest sharing.
I’m a lifelong Bruce Springsteen fan, and his song lyrics so often speak to me. Two examples:
1. “Wendy let me in, I want to be your friend, I want to guard your dreams and visions” (from “Born to Run,” and now the ringtone when my husband calls me)
2. “Oh girl, that feeling of safety you prize, it comes with a hard, hard price. You can’t shut out the risk and the pain without losing the love that remains. We’re all riders on this train.” (from “Human Touch”)
I needed to read this today. I, too, was a creative girl who somehow lost the thread. The world makes it very easy, especially for women, to lose their spark or discount the importance of stoking the fire. Thank you for reminding me, giving me a nudge, to take time to explore.
Lisa, this essay comes so close to my journey right now. I’m an associate therapist, about 900 hours away from licensure. I do this work because I believe in the healing power of listening and because I was one of those lifelong helpers you mentioned who’s been really good at being there for everyone else since I was a little girl. But the older I grow, the more I understand the essential need to include myself in my own life. To create freedom, expression, and art every step of the way. To nurture my wants, attend to my needs, and protect my limits. My hunch is that our choices to center our own unfolding is what sustains us for the long haul.
My favorite affirmation from the Artist’s Way (did you decide to read it? I think I saw you were considering it earlier this fall) is “My creativity heals myself and others.” Wow. How about this both/and of healing and creating as our reality? How about pottery, songwriting, photography, and sharing your writing isn’t antithetical to healing? How about a kind of healing that doesn’t have to look like listening all the time? How about our personal creativity as a sign of collective flourishing?
Thanks for the space to muse on these ideas in a comment. When I saw those pictures of you in creative flow from earlier times in your life, it resonated so deeply. Thank you for honoring the artist within you. My inner artist appreciates it. 💓
Thank you so much for your sharing...I am a therapist and am at the beginning stages of preparing to take time off as well. I am so curious about your journey and am wondering if you may feel open to having a conversation to share and connect a bit more over this process. If you'd like to learn more about me first (since I'm a stranger) let me know and I'm glad to open up a bit more. A lot of what you named resonated with the process I am in after 15 years of doing intensive work with clients focused on trauma and healing. With deep appreciation - Heather
Absolutely beautiful, thank you so much for your nourishing words! I’m so grateful for your newsletter every single week. Sending you so much love🫶🏻✨
Thank you for sharing your expression Lisa. It felt like looking in a mirror reading this ✨ the way you write is enjoyable and gave me some unexpected clarity on things
Uuuf, okay. So I finished reading this piece yesterday when I was sitting across my wife, and tears flooded my eyes and I cried. I felt so seen and heard with this piece (as a therapist myself and have launch my career fully this year) -- I truly feel like my pieces; of me writing, singing, playing guitar, photographing the world, tending to museums, collecting flowers during walks, making pottery, painting, dancing.... all have slowly departed away, and have collected dust. This hit home. Yesterday, I felt the slump of that, and just let it live a bit to then reclaim. I brought my new sewing machine that had been in the depths of my closet because I haven’t “had time to start” 🥺 -- but truly, I’ve just been too scared to try something new or think of anything else about myself. I rather pick up the next book for my clients, then read a poetry book that fuels my creative soul. 😮💨 I am reclaiming. And this post, Lisa.. has helped me welcome those pieces/parts of myself little by little, and welcome to just be curious about welcoming my expression once again. 🤍 thank you again for your reminders; I appreciate them wholeheartedly.
Adored this piece. I am only just starting to reconnect with the creativity that fuelled me as a kid, so this very much resonated.
🙏Thank you for sharing so authentically. It touches me and inspires me.
I needed to read this so much. I recently left a fifteen year career in higher education, a field I had up until recently thought I would spend my whole career doing. What I discovered since the pandemic started was that my institution was continuing to ask more and more from me at work without providing support and becoming more and more hostile to me taking time for myself and creative pursuits.
I initially felt a lot of shame about leaving, like I was abandoning my values in pursuit of more me and family time. Your words here have help so much for me to reconcile those feelings and lean into what I will gain from a move like this.
lisa, I've been subscribed to your newsletter for a couple months now, and seeing them pop up in my inbox every sunday has become one of my weekly joys. thank you for writing and sharing from your heart. it is felt deeply by people like myself.