I know nothing about Instagram, since I've never been on it. I do know that leaving Twitter has helped my mental health, and no matter how much it helped me publicize my writing it came at too high a price once Elon Musk took over. There is a social media platform you may want to check out that I am absolutely loving: Post.news.
Post is similar to Twitter, but for liberals and rational conservatives who accept facts and can debate ideas without insulting people. Also, there's no character limit so more substantive articles and opinions are posted (along with pet photos and memes). Best of all, users can get paid for their posts - either through tips or by putting the rest of an article behind a paywall. Lots of writers, book lovers, and people like Dan Rather and Rachel Maddow are there, and I had over 100 followers within a day or two.
It is so new it's in beta, so there's a wait list now and some annoying glitches, but I still think it's awesome (and I usually hate social media). Everyone is kind and helps new users figure things out. Anyway, if you do end up there I'm @writerwendig.
Recently, I’ve begun to recognize that many of the people I know who are the most outwardly successful also seem to be deeply unhappy. I think all the achievement (and accolades for that achievement) conditions us to (1) never feel satisfied or good enough and (2) to prioritize doing over experiencing.
It’s made me realize that, like in all things, there must be a middle path. I don’t want to sacrifice my soul to be “the best”.
10000%. There is deep relief and permission to let go of "best" as a barometer for success, for worth, for creating, for anything. The illusion of contentment and happiness being wrapped up in outward success creates such a harsh approach to living, I've found. The softening into this knowing has been a gift. 🤍
Thank you so so much for your beautiful and deeply nourishing words! I really resonated with what you said about not needing to be the first or the best at something in order for your work and your ideas to matter - it’s something that I so often return to because it’s so easy to forget. I have also been trying to consume less these past few days, to go slower, to just let myself be - and though it isn’t always easy, sometimes slowing down is exactly what I need. I am sending you so much love, I look forward to your newsletter every single week and I so appreciate your writing🫶🏻✨
It is definitely not always easy -- and almost always feels so nourishing, even when it is challenging in some ways. Thank you for your presence here 😭
I appreciate this so much. As someone who is finally taking the tender steps toward putting my own voice and creativity into the spaces of public eyes, it’s helpful and soothing to read about your experience with that: from the need to take time away from social media (and feeling the “should” of it), to the process of your own creative expression and sharing your art/heart- what a journey. It can feel so liberating and so sticky at times! I’m realizing more and more how much these little pockets of communities matter to me, and how valuable it is to share with each other what we’re experiencing along the way. 🖤
Hello Lisa! This is Misha from India today it’s Christmas here so Merry Christmas! Read your newsletter first thing in the morning and after your words I feel I needed to hear this and universe and angels were trying to tell this through you so thank you 🥺. Also just reading what you right I have aha moment and feel seen, heard and it makes me want to show for myself and work on myself and be there for others in whatever ways I can! Also I can’t wait to read your book also even I haven’t used Instagram since a week and even I don’t feel like going back and that thing you wrote about you want to spend time alone or you trying to distant yourself from others so that you don’t have to be vulnerable was a question I needed to ask myself and reflect on because there’s a difference. I hope you have great day ahead! Sending you a big warm hug just like your smile Lisa🤍
Thank you for sharing, Lisa. I needed to hear all of these things.
#2. Was something I was just talking to a friend about, how we are all on our own paths. But this whole fall semester I have felt "behind" and my therapist kept challenging me on what; and technically, I never was behind, I was just on top of things. BUT I think I feel this way because I feel like I'm not healed enough, so I feel behind in healing. I'm still not done with my dissertation and I feel behind in that and feel like I'm never going to finish.
#6 really made me self-reflect. I decided not to go anywhere this weekend. I didn't want to travel and I didn't want to be out of my own space. Maybe a part of me wanted to be alone. And I really wonder how much of that is wanting to keep people at arms length, not wanting to let people get too close. Something to ponder for sure.
As always, thank you so much for showing up as your true self. It helps me be brave enough to do the same with others :) <3
This was beautiful. So much of the 'trying to be our best self' is actually rooted in rejection of ourselves as we are in the now. Often unconsciously. Learning to slow down, to rest, to let myself be (instead of 'do'), to express my needs and to ask for help has been a decades-long journey. And I've gotten really good at it now 😁.
Ultimately I think there will always be room for us to expand into more. But knowing that is very different to feeling like who we are now is not good enough, or 'less than.
Christmas for me this year needs to be a time of regeneration and reflection for quite a few reasons. I felt myself speeding through life recently which is scary. Taking this time to think and also be with people will be great. Work has been all consuming and draining. The feeling that I get from writing my newsletter has been a great salve for that draining work.
Again, thank you for your post. This alone has been a great piece that I will re read again in the morning so that it’s messages can crystallise a little.
What a fantastic piece of writing. I could relate to every single line you mentioned. I discovered your profile a few days ago and have been reading all of your posts ever since. Reading your newsletters transports me to another world. I really appreciate the time and effort you put into it. I understand how social media, particularly Instagram, can take so much away from you without you even realising it. I was in a similar situation a few months ago when I joined Instagram and created a visual diary page to express various small things about life, nature, and things I admire. However, I believe Instagram isn't the right platform for you, despite the fact that you can get a lot of exposure there. After taking a long break, I don't want to go back because it starts to affect your mental health as well. Speaking of mental health, as a writer, I joined a Substake community to talk about discovering your own Self, the importance of Self-care, and finding a way to keep our mental and physical health in check in this fast-paced world. I'd like to ask a small favour, and it would mean the world to me, if you could introduce Dollar's & Therapy to your subscribers and readers, as I'm just getting started and looking for ways to grow and spread some positivity. Here is my link to a recent newsletter https://shiasurani.substack.com/p/the-last-letter-of-2022?sd=pf . I look forward to connecting with you and digging into Human stuff and exploring more :)
oh, Quick introduction! I am a university student in Canada studying Child Psychology, and I am definitely going to upgrade to the paid version of Human Stuff from Lisa Olivera because I can't wait to read your monthly journal guide. As soon as I could afford it, I would upgrade:)
I want to wish you and your family a very happy new year.
Thank you for these reflections. #9 and #10 in particular really resonates. I am also trying to let go of living up the best version of myself, instead giving myself compassion and stand tall in who I am today -- without comparing myself to the future me. And this notion of needing to be the first one to do something- so so much pressure. I do this all the time-- but when I operate from this stance, a lot of what I do (writing), it isn't joy-filled, rather fear driven. I am so glad to know I am not alone in this. Thank you so much for writing and sharing.
My spouse just gifted me a subscription and I am just feeling so grateful. Today I lit a candle to honor a long time patient who passed away, I read, I colored, and I laughed with a friend. Thank you for your reminders to honor our humanity always ❤️
I know nothing about Instagram, since I've never been on it. I do know that leaving Twitter has helped my mental health, and no matter how much it helped me publicize my writing it came at too high a price once Elon Musk took over. There is a social media platform you may want to check out that I am absolutely loving: Post.news.
Post is similar to Twitter, but for liberals and rational conservatives who accept facts and can debate ideas without insulting people. Also, there's no character limit so more substantive articles and opinions are posted (along with pet photos and memes). Best of all, users can get paid for their posts - either through tips or by putting the rest of an article behind a paywall. Lots of writers, book lovers, and people like Dan Rather and Rachel Maddow are there, and I had over 100 followers within a day or two.
It is so new it's in beta, so there's a wait list now and some annoying glitches, but I still think it's awesome (and I usually hate social media). Everyone is kind and helps new users figure things out. Anyway, if you do end up there I'm @writerwendig.
Oh thank you for sharing this!!
You're welcome ... hope to see you on Post.
Recently, I’ve begun to recognize that many of the people I know who are the most outwardly successful also seem to be deeply unhappy. I think all the achievement (and accolades for that achievement) conditions us to (1) never feel satisfied or good enough and (2) to prioritize doing over experiencing.
It’s made me realize that, like in all things, there must be a middle path. I don’t want to sacrifice my soul to be “the best”.
10000%. There is deep relief and permission to let go of "best" as a barometer for success, for worth, for creating, for anything. The illusion of contentment and happiness being wrapped up in outward success creates such a harsh approach to living, I've found. The softening into this knowing has been a gift. 🤍
Ah! Yes 🖤
Thank you so so much for your beautiful and deeply nourishing words! I really resonated with what you said about not needing to be the first or the best at something in order for your work and your ideas to matter - it’s something that I so often return to because it’s so easy to forget. I have also been trying to consume less these past few days, to go slower, to just let myself be - and though it isn’t always easy, sometimes slowing down is exactly what I need. I am sending you so much love, I look forward to your newsletter every single week and I so appreciate your writing🫶🏻✨
It is definitely not always easy -- and almost always feels so nourishing, even when it is challenging in some ways. Thank you for your presence here 😭
I appreciate this so much. As someone who is finally taking the tender steps toward putting my own voice and creativity into the spaces of public eyes, it’s helpful and soothing to read about your experience with that: from the need to take time away from social media (and feeling the “should” of it), to the process of your own creative expression and sharing your art/heart- what a journey. It can feel so liberating and so sticky at times! I’m realizing more and more how much these little pockets of communities matter to me, and how valuable it is to share with each other what we’re experiencing along the way. 🖤
I'm so glad it connected with you -- liberating a sticky is a great way to describe it all! The best things are often both. Thank you for sharing 🤍
I so agree ✨☺️
Lisa, This was some of the most honest - human work I have read. Thank you for sharing so deeply. I feel we are cut from the same cloth.
D
I'm so glad it connected with you, thank you for sharing!
Hello Lisa! This is Misha from India today it’s Christmas here so Merry Christmas! Read your newsletter first thing in the morning and after your words I feel I needed to hear this and universe and angels were trying to tell this through you so thank you 🥺. Also just reading what you right I have aha moment and feel seen, heard and it makes me want to show for myself and work on myself and be there for others in whatever ways I can! Also I can’t wait to read your book also even I haven’t used Instagram since a week and even I don’t feel like going back and that thing you wrote about you want to spend time alone or you trying to distant yourself from others so that you don’t have to be vulnerable was a question I needed to ask myself and reflect on because there’s a difference. I hope you have great day ahead! Sending you a big warm hug just like your smile Lisa🤍
Warmest wishes to you 🤍
Thank you so much, Lisa 🤍
🤍🤍
Thank you for sharing, Lisa. I needed to hear all of these things.
#2. Was something I was just talking to a friend about, how we are all on our own paths. But this whole fall semester I have felt "behind" and my therapist kept challenging me on what; and technically, I never was behind, I was just on top of things. BUT I think I feel this way because I feel like I'm not healed enough, so I feel behind in healing. I'm still not done with my dissertation and I feel behind in that and feel like I'm never going to finish.
#6 really made me self-reflect. I decided not to go anywhere this weekend. I didn't want to travel and I didn't want to be out of my own space. Maybe a part of me wanted to be alone. And I really wonder how much of that is wanting to keep people at arms length, not wanting to let people get too close. Something to ponder for sure.
As always, thank you so much for showing up as your true self. It helps me be brave enough to do the same with others :) <3
Thank you for sharing your reflections and experience here 🤍
This was beautiful. So much of the 'trying to be our best self' is actually rooted in rejection of ourselves as we are in the now. Often unconsciously. Learning to slow down, to rest, to let myself be (instead of 'do'), to express my needs and to ask for help has been a decades-long journey. And I've gotten really good at it now 😁.
Ultimately I think there will always be room for us to expand into more. But knowing that is very different to feeling like who we are now is not good enough, or 'less than.
Thanks for a fabulous post.
Thank you for this reflection!
A massively inspiring read. Thank you.
Christmas for me this year needs to be a time of regeneration and reflection for quite a few reasons. I felt myself speeding through life recently which is scary. Taking this time to think and also be with people will be great. Work has been all consuming and draining. The feeling that I get from writing my newsletter has been a great salve for that draining work.
Again, thank you for your post. This alone has been a great piece that I will re read again in the morning so that it’s messages can crystallise a little.
Thank you for your reflection here -- and I so agree about writing being a salve.
wow Lisa, this may be my favorite letter of yours yet. There is room. Thank you.
Hello there, Lisa.
What a fantastic piece of writing. I could relate to every single line you mentioned. I discovered your profile a few days ago and have been reading all of your posts ever since. Reading your newsletters transports me to another world. I really appreciate the time and effort you put into it. I understand how social media, particularly Instagram, can take so much away from you without you even realising it. I was in a similar situation a few months ago when I joined Instagram and created a visual diary page to express various small things about life, nature, and things I admire. However, I believe Instagram isn't the right platform for you, despite the fact that you can get a lot of exposure there. After taking a long break, I don't want to go back because it starts to affect your mental health as well. Speaking of mental health, as a writer, I joined a Substake community to talk about discovering your own Self, the importance of Self-care, and finding a way to keep our mental and physical health in check in this fast-paced world. I'd like to ask a small favour, and it would mean the world to me, if you could introduce Dollar's & Therapy to your subscribers and readers, as I'm just getting started and looking for ways to grow and spread some positivity. Here is my link to a recent newsletter https://shiasurani.substack.com/p/the-last-letter-of-2022?sd=pf . I look forward to connecting with you and digging into Human stuff and exploring more :)
oh, Quick introduction! I am a university student in Canada studying Child Psychology, and I am definitely going to upgrade to the paid version of Human Stuff from Lisa Olivera because I can't wait to read your monthly journal guide. As soon as I could afford it, I would upgrade:)
I want to wish you and your family a very happy new year.
I'm sending you lots of love and care. Stay warm!
I'm looking forward to connecting with you Lisa.
❤️
On thing number 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbFYlBA0K5c
Thank you for these reflections. #9 and #10 in particular really resonates. I am also trying to let go of living up the best version of myself, instead giving myself compassion and stand tall in who I am today -- without comparing myself to the future me. And this notion of needing to be the first one to do something- so so much pressure. I do this all the time-- but when I operate from this stance, a lot of what I do (writing), it isn't joy-filled, rather fear driven. I am so glad to know I am not alone in this. Thank you so much for writing and sharing.
My spouse just gifted me a subscription and I am just feeling so grateful. Today I lit a candle to honor a long time patient who passed away, I read, I colored, and I laughed with a friend. Thank you for your reminders to honor our humanity always ❤️