I’ve jokingly called my substack my adult livejournal and I miss the days of sharing our online diaries with each other! There’s also some patriarchy coming through in non-critically criticizing the diary form, most often associated with teenage girls. Yet theirs and so many historical diaries contain so much insight and wisdom and beauty. I love your thoughts on the power of sharing, and it’s something I try to remind myself of when I start to question why I keep putting myself out there. Connection is everything. Thank you for always holding that truth so openly.
#10 all day long. I've often gotten down on myself for not being a more literary writer. I wish I wrote that way, god damn it i do, but I don't. It's not how the words come out of me. It's not how my mind moves through the world. I'll never get my MFA. I might never complete a full memoir or work of fiction. But I write, and people read. And they tell me it makes a difference, it means something, it saves moments or days or sometimes even lives. And that's more than enough. It is and it has to be. i've come to love fragmented stories and incomplete pieces. We live life in fragments..it's never one perfectly formed story arc when you're living it - so why shouldn't we write that way?
Your writing has been so powerful for me! Thank you for sharing this and all the windows into your world. Did you know the root of “worry” means to strangle. I’ve never forgotten that! Sending love and much gratitude to you!!
I had a boyfriend who once scoffed at people who eat at Subway. My family ate at Subway every Sunday after church--it was a memory of togetherness for me, and I had never once thought to feel shame about eating at a chain sub restaurant until someone said something about it. It threatened something that felt sacred and important to me; something natural and even ordinary about my life was now under scrutiny. One time my sister wanted to show me a song she thought I would find cool and I laughed at it because I thought it was silly, but she was looking for connection to me in that moment, and I had a hand in her feeling embarrassment. These memories come to mind for me because I feel like there are invitations on either end of being the person whose preferences come under criticism, and being the critic. The former would be to lean in even further to what I love with abandon, and an invitation to get clear about what really matters to me, and the latter to come to have a greater sensitivity and respect for others in what they love, even if it it doesn't resonate for me. Both can be true. Subway is Subway for a reason, and so are diary entries, and so are acoustic covers of Drake songs... what a special thing it is that we come to the well that is other people's creativity and parts of us feels seen by it, while others of us remain stumped. :)
Thank you for sharing, once again it resonates. And to the podcast host who mentioned that some of these things are diary entries or shouldn’t be published - you can go read something else. Perhaps they’re reacting to a part of them that wishes they could be more open, honest and vulnerable. Of course, I have no way of knowing. And my substack newsletter is more in line with yours, Lisa. In that it is all in the process, without necessarily being the end lesson or some well researching report. It is me, sharing as a human about life and what I’m learning. (But at the end of the day, what else is life about?)
Love this, Lisa, especially point 10, and how you write. That podcast hot was talking hogwash! And I’m cross/sad at the thought there will be some folk who take on what he said and will change/curb themselves because of it.
The need for dopamine hits that aren't from your phone resonates deeply (she types on her phone)! I have been in a rut where I am so burned out that after completing my responsibilities for the day, I just lay on the couch and scroll. I am going to make a list of things that bring me joy aside from my phone (and will do so on a piece of paper, not on my phone!!!). Thank you for the inspiration.
Liking this - what you were saying about writing. Reminds me of a similar realization about finding friends. Showing up from our true self, real responses, honest vulnerabilities… enables the discovery of kindred spirits. This is what we all really want, but the inevitable (necessary :-) discord or rejection along the path can completely derail the dream of friendship.
When I look at this openly, I get how precious, invaluable and precarious friendship is for us. And I realize, too, how necessary this rocky path is, for success.
Seems like I absolutely must accept the bumps on paths leading to… true expression, true friendship, truth about myself, truth about our culture, species… all of it.
I’m so YES with the following:
“ learn to differentiate between when we’re moving from the truth and when we’re not ”
I think you are right we can learn this. It helps me keep walking when a storm (inside) engulfs me, or when I feel alone when speaking/writing from the heart.
I’ll go on record saying your newsletter writing style touches and conveys the truth quite well, and imagining it formatted as an “essay” (who started teaching us that drivel, eh :-) - invokes the vomit urge.
Hey - sad to hear about the book rejection. I sure want to read it. If “they” don’t see the gem… their loss. Seems you already see the light coming through those cracks! (L. Cohen) 😊
I felt discouraged after reading some comment talking about why reading some substacks (and of course I read it as mine) feels like reading someone’s food diaries.... thanks for writing this, because I felt so blocked after reading that comment and couldn’t write anything at all. It’s better to show up, create, and practice.
I don't know what literary writing really means. I do love to read... i've never delved into the technicality of literature, so maybe my feedback is ... less credible so to speak. But, I LOVE LOVE the way you write. It flows like poetry, it speaks to my soul, and often is a balm to my wounds. It (your writing) truly is an art, and I don't think art is meant to follow any rules; art is free.
I come here every Sunday to find resonance, to find connection, to learn because it is so clear that you have experienced heartbreak, pain, and grief and from that you know and understand life in a way that most people just... don't. Your writing is like drinking wisdom and love at the same time.
I wish I could express how much your writing means to me.
As always, thank you for sharing what you do and HOW you do.
I’ve jokingly called my substack my adult livejournal and I miss the days of sharing our online diaries with each other! There’s also some patriarchy coming through in non-critically criticizing the diary form, most often associated with teenage girls. Yet theirs and so many historical diaries contain so much insight and wisdom and beauty. I love your thoughts on the power of sharing, and it’s something I try to remind myself of when I start to question why I keep putting myself out there. Connection is everything. Thank you for always holding that truth so openly.
#10 all day long. I've often gotten down on myself for not being a more literary writer. I wish I wrote that way, god damn it i do, but I don't. It's not how the words come out of me. It's not how my mind moves through the world. I'll never get my MFA. I might never complete a full memoir or work of fiction. But I write, and people read. And they tell me it makes a difference, it means something, it saves moments or days or sometimes even lives. And that's more than enough. It is and it has to be. i've come to love fragmented stories and incomplete pieces. We live life in fragments..it's never one perfectly formed story arc when you're living it - so why shouldn't we write that way?
Your writing has been so powerful for me! Thank you for sharing this and all the windows into your world. Did you know the root of “worry” means to strangle. I’ve never forgotten that! Sending love and much gratitude to you!!
Grateful for your thoughts on Substack and what is worth sharing -- thank you, Lisa. And what a thrill to know that you read my book! ❤️
I had a boyfriend who once scoffed at people who eat at Subway. My family ate at Subway every Sunday after church--it was a memory of togetherness for me, and I had never once thought to feel shame about eating at a chain sub restaurant until someone said something about it. It threatened something that felt sacred and important to me; something natural and even ordinary about my life was now under scrutiny. One time my sister wanted to show me a song she thought I would find cool and I laughed at it because I thought it was silly, but she was looking for connection to me in that moment, and I had a hand in her feeling embarrassment. These memories come to mind for me because I feel like there are invitations on either end of being the person whose preferences come under criticism, and being the critic. The former would be to lean in even further to what I love with abandon, and an invitation to get clear about what really matters to me, and the latter to come to have a greater sensitivity and respect for others in what they love, even if it it doesn't resonate for me. Both can be true. Subway is Subway for a reason, and so are diary entries, and so are acoustic covers of Drake songs... what a special thing it is that we come to the well that is other people's creativity and parts of us feels seen by it, while others of us remain stumped. :)
Thank you for sharing, once again it resonates. And to the podcast host who mentioned that some of these things are diary entries or shouldn’t be published - you can go read something else. Perhaps they’re reacting to a part of them that wishes they could be more open, honest and vulnerable. Of course, I have no way of knowing. And my substack newsletter is more in line with yours, Lisa. In that it is all in the process, without necessarily being the end lesson or some well researching report. It is me, sharing as a human about life and what I’m learning. (But at the end of the day, what else is life about?)
“There is room for you. There is room for your words and art, your message and your heart”.
For all of us creatives who struggle with self-doubt, thank you for sharing this 💗
Love this, Lisa, especially point 10, and how you write. That podcast hot was talking hogwash! And I’m cross/sad at the thought there will be some folk who take on what he said and will change/curb themselves because of it.
The need for dopamine hits that aren't from your phone resonates deeply (she types on her phone)! I have been in a rut where I am so burned out that after completing my responsibilities for the day, I just lay on the couch and scroll. I am going to make a list of things that bring me joy aside from my phone (and will do so on a piece of paper, not on my phone!!!). Thank you for the inspiration.
I love essays that feel like diary entries! They are honest and vulnerable and the only thing I want to read.
“Let it find the people it’s meant to find”
Liking this - what you were saying about writing. Reminds me of a similar realization about finding friends. Showing up from our true self, real responses, honest vulnerabilities… enables the discovery of kindred spirits. This is what we all really want, but the inevitable (necessary :-) discord or rejection along the path can completely derail the dream of friendship.
When I look at this openly, I get how precious, invaluable and precarious friendship is for us. And I realize, too, how necessary this rocky path is, for success.
Seems like I absolutely must accept the bumps on paths leading to… true expression, true friendship, truth about myself, truth about our culture, species… all of it.
I’m so YES with the following:
“ learn to differentiate between when we’re moving from the truth and when we’re not ”
I think you are right we can learn this. It helps me keep walking when a storm (inside) engulfs me, or when I feel alone when speaking/writing from the heart.
I’ll go on record saying your newsletter writing style touches and conveys the truth quite well, and imagining it formatted as an “essay” (who started teaching us that drivel, eh :-) - invokes the vomit urge.
Hey - sad to hear about the book rejection. I sure want to read it. If “they” don’t see the gem… their loss. Seems you already see the light coming through those cracks! (L. Cohen) 😊
I felt discouraged after reading some comment talking about why reading some substacks (and of course I read it as mine) feels like reading someone’s food diaries.... thanks for writing this, because I felt so blocked after reading that comment and couldn’t write anything at all. It’s better to show up, create, and practice.
I don't know what literary writing really means. I do love to read... i've never delved into the technicality of literature, so maybe my feedback is ... less credible so to speak. But, I LOVE LOVE the way you write. It flows like poetry, it speaks to my soul, and often is a balm to my wounds. It (your writing) truly is an art, and I don't think art is meant to follow any rules; art is free.
I come here every Sunday to find resonance, to find connection, to learn because it is so clear that you have experienced heartbreak, pain, and grief and from that you know and understand life in a way that most people just... don't. Your writing is like drinking wisdom and love at the same time.
I wish I could express how much your writing means to me.
As always, thank you for sharing what you do and HOW you do.
If that person doesn’t like journal entries, that’s on them 🤣 I only recently found you, but I really appreciate this share. 💜💜
Thank you for continuing to share from the in-between 💛
“I thought about the relief of just being honest instead of trying to be impressive.” - LOVED this! ❤️