You have me thinking of the modality of IFS and the complexity and marvel of all the parts of us. Your reflection on all your truest selves makes me soften toward my own past selves that were working so darn hard to be true but struggling in a million different ways. The question that is gently surfacing this morning is: can I trust my current self to lead? Thank you for this.
Yesterday Morgan Harper Nichols posted this: “One day, I’ll tell the story of this season… not as someone who had everything figured out, but as having lived courageously here.”
There is SO MUCH here. Three things... I am one of the people who do The Most and it's good to remember that, as you looked over and wished to relate to us, I've been wanting to be more like you... maybe all those of us in these different groups can swap more too-much-energy/not-enough-energy with each other as we get older... Two - I've also been hiding things in my writing (which will probably be written about when the time is right) and it feels a bit naughty somehow but also an important part of sharing what I want to share rather than being led by some kind of ought... serving others through serving myself better, if that makes sense. Three - oh, I love Sarton so much - I devoured all her books a decade ago and maybe it's time to revisit her. I did used to wish she wouldn't spend so much of her time slightly-resentfully-responding to her fans though!!! So appreciative of you & your work, thank you Lisa.
The idea that my true self is exactly who I am in this moment is liberating. Everything is as it should be and each iteration of my constantly evolving self is exactly as it should be. True self acceptance. Thank you for the lightbulb moment.
An invitation to the forgotten example of H. D. Thoreau:
"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
Fellow therapist here. Deeply struggling with the decision to have a second child or not, after experiencing (still experiencing) a long, slow miscarriage. Another heartfelt "thank you" for this newsletter. It always seems to hit a deep and important place.
I love all of your iterations of truth and the true you. I see our selves as stepping stones across the creek as we are onto one, the water flowing and gurgling all around. We stay there a while, or a moment, before we step onto\ into our next iteration or stone, all along our journey until we reach the other side. Many blessings and peace, your journey is beautiful and just right 🙏🌸🌲💦
I resonate deeply with your words, thank you. I am in a fragile, breaking open place these last days. I feel like I've taken the snow globe of all my parts, with their feelings and fears, and shaken them vigorously and now there's nothing to do but sit in the swirl. As it overwhelms me, I tend heavily toward the I don't know.
Moving myself through the forest today, after a few miles, with rhymthmic feet and breath, I started to feel a peak of clarity come through. Like the clouds of the "I don't know" parting, and the steadiness of my Self resurfacing. Just with two clear next steps, which for now, is enough.
Thank you for sharing your words. They are truly a gift to me.
I’m also reviewing my selves, mostly in private too. I’m so curious about reclaiming privacy as a piece to solitude and presence whilst holding others and letting them hold us. What would it be like to feel all the hands who want to hold me without me being on display?
‘To be human is so wildly inconvenient to so many of the structures we’ve been told to live within, and the continual practice of breaking out of them feels like courage.’
As others have said - there IS so much here, Lisa. I notice how much you put into this. and I also know by how condensed it is... that there is much more. This makes sense.
Aging is a wild unknown space. I'm approaching 70 and I'm just now realizing that stuff doesn't get easier with age (yeah, I thought it would). Instead, it gets deeper and more challenging. Deeper, from living in the big book of combined experiences (from many lives, like you describe :-). Challenging, from how each experience interacts with other experiences so that new experiences have more to resonate with - both joyful and unnerving.
The process of listening and validating all that seems essentially healing. Inner (and social) forces have tried to turn away the unpleasant memories, belief in inadequacy, rejection of self over others. But over a long life, this forms patterns of avoidance which are hard to break, and the field of avoidance gets bigger to the point of constriction.
I hear that our neurology rewrites old memories constantly. That we may have a say about the rewrite process. So, this week, I start rewriting. When I resonate darkly between present and a past experience, I sit with them without avoidance. I verbalize their essence repeatedly, washing them in self acceptance, until the sting is gone - softened.
This is a new practice. Lisa, your words in this article speak to this for me... honoring who we are at all phases and given all our decisions. Holding ourselves in a blanket of acceptance - from all our "lives."
I am grateful for your personal work, and your willingness to share it. :-)
You have me thinking of the modality of IFS and the complexity and marvel of all the parts of us. Your reflection on all your truest selves makes me soften toward my own past selves that were working so darn hard to be true but struggling in a million different ways. The question that is gently surfacing this morning is: can I trust my current self to lead? Thank you for this.
Yesterday Morgan Harper Nichols posted this: “One day, I’ll tell the story of this season… not as someone who had everything figured out, but as having lived courageously here.”
I felt this too, and have been on this journey (for always) but more consciously lately.
This… “I want to keep obliterating the inner hierarchy — keep allowing the whole.”
That allowing and remembering the whole part is the way.
There is SO MUCH here. Three things... I am one of the people who do The Most and it's good to remember that, as you looked over and wished to relate to us, I've been wanting to be more like you... maybe all those of us in these different groups can swap more too-much-energy/not-enough-energy with each other as we get older... Two - I've also been hiding things in my writing (which will probably be written about when the time is right) and it feels a bit naughty somehow but also an important part of sharing what I want to share rather than being led by some kind of ought... serving others through serving myself better, if that makes sense. Three - oh, I love Sarton so much - I devoured all her books a decade ago and maybe it's time to revisit her. I did used to wish she wouldn't spend so much of her time slightly-resentfully-responding to her fans though!!! So appreciative of you & your work, thank you Lisa.
Beautifully expressed as always, Lisa. I can relate deeply to all of this. Your writing is always inspiring and thought-provoking. Thank you.
The idea that my true self is exactly who I am in this moment is liberating. Everything is as it should be and each iteration of my constantly evolving self is exactly as it should be. True self acceptance. Thank you for the lightbulb moment.
Love that loves all versions ❤ beautiful.
Love all of the “truest self” descriptions and how we evolve and change but still hold true to who we were and continue to be 🌿
What a beautiful and inspiring post!
An invitation to the forgotten example of H. D. Thoreau:
"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
Fellow therapist here. Deeply struggling with the decision to have a second child or not, after experiencing (still experiencing) a long, slow miscarriage. Another heartfelt "thank you" for this newsletter. It always seems to hit a deep and important place.
I love all of your iterations of truth and the true you. I see our selves as stepping stones across the creek as we are onto one, the water flowing and gurgling all around. We stay there a while, or a moment, before we step onto\ into our next iteration or stone, all along our journey until we reach the other side. Many blessings and peace, your journey is beautiful and just right 🙏🌸🌲💦
I resonate deeply with your words, thank you. I am in a fragile, breaking open place these last days. I feel like I've taken the snow globe of all my parts, with their feelings and fears, and shaken them vigorously and now there's nothing to do but sit in the swirl. As it overwhelms me, I tend heavily toward the I don't know.
Moving myself through the forest today, after a few miles, with rhymthmic feet and breath, I started to feel a peak of clarity come through. Like the clouds of the "I don't know" parting, and the steadiness of my Self resurfacing. Just with two clear next steps, which for now, is enough.
Thank you for sharing your words. They are truly a gift to me.
Straight to the heart of the matter. So beautiful, and so true. Thank you.
I’m also reviewing my selves, mostly in private too. I’m so curious about reclaiming privacy as a piece to solitude and presence whilst holding others and letting them hold us. What would it be like to feel all the hands who want to hold me without me being on display?
What a beautiful reminder of what self-love should be. Thank you for the reminder so beautifully written. 🙏🏻
‘To be human is so wildly inconvenient to so many of the structures we’ve been told to live within, and the continual practice of breaking out of them feels like courage.’
Such true and lovely words!
As others have said - there IS so much here, Lisa. I notice how much you put into this. and I also know by how condensed it is... that there is much more. This makes sense.
Aging is a wild unknown space. I'm approaching 70 and I'm just now realizing that stuff doesn't get easier with age (yeah, I thought it would). Instead, it gets deeper and more challenging. Deeper, from living in the big book of combined experiences (from many lives, like you describe :-). Challenging, from how each experience interacts with other experiences so that new experiences have more to resonate with - both joyful and unnerving.
The process of listening and validating all that seems essentially healing. Inner (and social) forces have tried to turn away the unpleasant memories, belief in inadequacy, rejection of self over others. But over a long life, this forms patterns of avoidance which are hard to break, and the field of avoidance gets bigger to the point of constriction.
I hear that our neurology rewrites old memories constantly. That we may have a say about the rewrite process. So, this week, I start rewriting. When I resonate darkly between present and a past experience, I sit with them without avoidance. I verbalize their essence repeatedly, washing them in self acceptance, until the sting is gone - softened.
This is a new practice. Lisa, your words in this article speak to this for me... honoring who we are at all phases and given all our decisions. Holding ourselves in a blanket of acceptance - from all our "lives."
I am grateful for your personal work, and your willingness to share it. :-)
Nice to meet you!