Once again your writing speaks to exactly what I'm experiencing. Thank you for the time and energy you invest in creating this newsletter—it has a real impact.
This makes so much sense. I think when we leave our physical space, we also leave our current mental space, which can be helpful. And so returning to our physical space often feels like we will enter the mental space we were in before we left, which isn't always true, but can be a terrifying prospect.
I have wanted to escape my body for a very long time; at best there is a constant presence of unease in my body, at worst I have a visceral disgust and hate for my body. So naturally, I suffer from pretty severe dissociation and derealization, but being outside of my body is also terrible. It can cause me to question my reality and can cause severe anxiety. I've been in a fun space of not feeling safe in or out of my body. I have started to create moments of safeness in my body, usually through movement. I have been able to build love and connection with parts of my body little by little - thanking my ribs for protecting my organs, my legs for supporting me, and my arms for carrying out my daily tasks. I hope one day I can accept my body and even be able to feel home in my body. I hope one day, I love my body so fiercely, I never feel the need to escape it again.
Not sure why this came up while reading your piece, but this is what was coming up for me while reading it. I think it was the coming back home and being with yourself, and instantly it made me think, I wonder if I shifted my thoughts about my body as if it were my home, how could that change my beliefs about my body? What if I thought of my body as my home rather than a place to escape from?
I experience "re-entry blues" almost every time I am away from home for a while. I know to expect them and that my first day home will not feel good. My second day is MUCH better. Saying goodbye to stimulating diversion from the every day and engagement with the routine of life feels like loss - a time of mourning. It just is - and this too shall pass.
Aug 8, 2022·edited Aug 8, 2022Liked by Lisa Olivera
So deeply resonate, Lisa - thank you for sharing. Really puts perfect and helpful words to a lot of things I've been feeling over the years. I imagine I will revisit this post many times again in the future.
This really touched me. All of your newsletters do, really, but the timing of this one. I have used daydreaming of escape as a coping mechanism since I was a child, and I recently wrote about that. Also, I felt these same feelings when I returned from a 3 week road trip with my daughter last month. I felt so disenchanted with my "normal" everyday life during and after that trip, and I felt so very sad. I have come out of it, and I am actively working on creating the life I *want* where I can, and trying to see the beauty around me all the time. I think back to your newsletter about an ordinary life, and how there is so much beauty and peace in the ordinary. All I really want to say is thank you for creating these newsletters, and for sharing your words and personal stories. It really is so meaningful and impactful!
I'm so glad it connected with you at the right time. The disenchantment is such a deep feeling, and one I've had to battle often -- especially when returning from trips or special experiences. Celebrating and finding the sacred in the ordinary has been such a gift and so supportive. Thank you for being here <3
Wow thank you for this. I’ve been feeling like this the last couple of weeks, since coming home from what feels like 2 months of travel. Being back home feels stifling and constricting and exhausting. But you’re right, home is also a place I long for when I’m not here. Thank you.
So glad this found you during the place you're in -- I know that feeling well and knowing you're not the only one (or bad/wrong/broken) for feeling it can be so nurturing. Thank you for sharing here <3
Thank you for your continued honesty and authenticity, Lisa. In a world where most people feel like they have to share their best, most insta-worthy selves at all times, you are a leader on the path to helping us share and honor what's real and true and hard, but still beautiful.
I can relate to so much of this newsletter. I feel such immense anticipation and expectation when I am planning an "escape," such joy and freedom while I am away, and such rumination and depression when I return. I wonder at what point in our lives this begins to happen. This temptation to escape our daily lives is everywhere- especially with social media, but also with books and movies and TV shows. I started thinking from a young age that my life should mirror what I was reading about and watching on TV. I became obsessed with living in New York City because it is the backdrop of so many novels and TV shows. I came to regard my life as dull in comparison- like I wasn't living a "real" or "important" life.
Being on vacation has always had that feeling of being transported into a novel or movie for me. I get to be the main character in this magical little chapter of life. But then it is over as quickly as it began, and I think "what was the point of it even happening at all?"
Reading about other peoples daily rituals and routines, like the link to the Cup of Jo article that you included, helps me to remember that not many people are living a perfect, fantastical movie or vacation life. It is truly in the beauty of the little daily things like a morning cup of coffee or afternoon walk that real life is lived. Staying in the moment and allowing yourself to feel all the feelings about that moment is the work of life- the hard, beautiful work.
Reading this on our first day back from vacation, and I can't even with how validating this is. That the feeling of dread and sadness upon returning home doesn't mean something is broken about my everyday life. Phew - such a relief to read your words, always! Thanks for this, Lisa!
Once again your writing speaks to exactly what I'm experiencing. Thank you for the time and energy you invest in creating this newsletter—it has a real impact.
Thank you for this reflection -- it means a lot and reminds me of why I do this each week!
This makes so much sense. I think when we leave our physical space, we also leave our current mental space, which can be helpful. And so returning to our physical space often feels like we will enter the mental space we were in before we left, which isn't always true, but can be a terrifying prospect.
I have wanted to escape my body for a very long time; at best there is a constant presence of unease in my body, at worst I have a visceral disgust and hate for my body. So naturally, I suffer from pretty severe dissociation and derealization, but being outside of my body is also terrible. It can cause me to question my reality and can cause severe anxiety. I've been in a fun space of not feeling safe in or out of my body. I have started to create moments of safeness in my body, usually through movement. I have been able to build love and connection with parts of my body little by little - thanking my ribs for protecting my organs, my legs for supporting me, and my arms for carrying out my daily tasks. I hope one day I can accept my body and even be able to feel home in my body. I hope one day, I love my body so fiercely, I never feel the need to escape it again.
Not sure why this came up while reading your piece, but this is what was coming up for me while reading it. I think it was the coming back home and being with yourself, and instantly it made me think, I wonder if I shifted my thoughts about my body as if it were my home, how could that change my beliefs about my body? What if I thought of my body as my home rather than a place to escape from?
I appreciate this share -- and honor your awareness of your own wisdom, knowing, and Self.
I experience "re-entry blues" almost every time I am away from home for a while. I know to expect them and that my first day home will not feel good. My second day is MUCH better. Saying goodbye to stimulating diversion from the every day and engagement with the routine of life feels like loss - a time of mourning. It just is - and this too shall pass.
Re-entry blues are so very real, and so very human. And yes, they do indeed pass <3
So deeply resonate, Lisa - thank you for sharing. Really puts perfect and helpful words to a lot of things I've been feeling over the years. I imagine I will revisit this post many times again in the future.
So grateful it found you and resonated -- thank you for being here <3
Love every word of this! So true and important to remember.
<3
This really touched me. All of your newsletters do, really, but the timing of this one. I have used daydreaming of escape as a coping mechanism since I was a child, and I recently wrote about that. Also, I felt these same feelings when I returned from a 3 week road trip with my daughter last month. I felt so disenchanted with my "normal" everyday life during and after that trip, and I felt so very sad. I have come out of it, and I am actively working on creating the life I *want* where I can, and trying to see the beauty around me all the time. I think back to your newsletter about an ordinary life, and how there is so much beauty and peace in the ordinary. All I really want to say is thank you for creating these newsletters, and for sharing your words and personal stories. It really is so meaningful and impactful!
I'm so glad it connected with you at the right time. The disenchantment is such a deep feeling, and one I've had to battle often -- especially when returning from trips or special experiences. Celebrating and finding the sacred in the ordinary has been such a gift and so supportive. Thank you for being here <3
Reading this was like a breath of fresh air. Loved it. Thanks, Lisa.
So grateful it connected with you <3
Wow thank you for this. I’ve been feeling like this the last couple of weeks, since coming home from what feels like 2 months of travel. Being back home feels stifling and constricting and exhausting. But you’re right, home is also a place I long for when I’m not here. Thank you.
So glad this found you during the place you're in -- I know that feeling well and knowing you're not the only one (or bad/wrong/broken) for feeling it can be so nurturing. Thank you for sharing here <3
Thank you for your continued honesty and authenticity, Lisa. In a world where most people feel like they have to share their best, most insta-worthy selves at all times, you are a leader on the path to helping us share and honor what's real and true and hard, but still beautiful.
I can relate to so much of this newsletter. I feel such immense anticipation and expectation when I am planning an "escape," such joy and freedom while I am away, and such rumination and depression when I return. I wonder at what point in our lives this begins to happen. This temptation to escape our daily lives is everywhere- especially with social media, but also with books and movies and TV shows. I started thinking from a young age that my life should mirror what I was reading about and watching on TV. I became obsessed with living in New York City because it is the backdrop of so many novels and TV shows. I came to regard my life as dull in comparison- like I wasn't living a "real" or "important" life.
Being on vacation has always had that feeling of being transported into a novel or movie for me. I get to be the main character in this magical little chapter of life. But then it is over as quickly as it began, and I think "what was the point of it even happening at all?"
Reading about other peoples daily rituals and routines, like the link to the Cup of Jo article that you included, helps me to remember that not many people are living a perfect, fantastical movie or vacation life. It is truly in the beauty of the little daily things like a morning cup of coffee or afternoon walk that real life is lived. Staying in the moment and allowing yourself to feel all the feelings about that moment is the work of life- the hard, beautiful work.
Beautiful - thank you for sharing. I feel this deeply.
Gorgeous writing. Taking that with me... my life, this feeling, this body etc. is not something I need to escape.
Reading this on our first day back from vacation, and I can't even with how validating this is. That the feeling of dread and sadness upon returning home doesn't mean something is broken about my everyday life. Phew - such a relief to read your words, always! Thanks for this, Lisa!