Perhaps the greatest burden of the highly sensitive person is to look toward, I've certainly found this to be true. Perhaps that is why we reached for the acid or the wine before we had the emotional and spiritual maturity to look toward it. Like you, I now desire to turn toward all things (as best I can). To gain the skill to be okay in big crowds or to witness difficulty. As you said, to cultivate the understanding that I may soften the blow.
Like your writing does time after time, this really touched me right. In. The. Heart. I’ve been contemplating how to more softly hold both beauty and heartache in my hand at once because isn’t that... life? It’s both the medicine I need and the hardest thing to do. But I’ll keep practicing. Thank you for exploring this and for being so open and honest about all that’s on your mind. ❤️
"Isn't that... life?" This -- yes. Both the medicine and the hardest thing to do, indeed. And it's all a practice -- something I remind myself of constantly. There is no getting it "right"... there's just the willingness to practice. Thank you for reading, for sharing, for doing this exploration alongside me from afar. xx
One more share from Cockburn on this beautiful Sunday in Anacortes. These are from the closing lines of his song "Isn't That What Friends Are For" I've shared this with several friends when they have been facing some particularly difficult times. Thought they would resonate with you.
I've been scraping little shavings off my ration of light
And I've formed it into a ball, and each time I pack a bit more onto it
I make a bowl of my hands and I scoop it from its secret cache
Thank you Lisa. You’ve touched on an issue I’ve been exploring in my own memoir: the act of seeing and being seen. There’s one line I’ll share. “As a small boy, I witnessed some harsh events that were difficult for me to process; I did not look away as I witnessed a neighbor’s dog hit by a car right in front of me while I was alone and unsupervised, no one there to shield my eyes, or watched as my mother lost control in terrifying fits of rage as if I were caught in a hurricane without warning.”
Goodness, this is beautiful. "Caught in a hurricane without warning"... what an image that is, in so many ways. Thank you for sharing -- and for writing what must be said.
🤍 for me, it is a learn-ed skill to stay tender and also have the courage to look right at it all. Temporary relief, it IS just temporary, but allows us to restore our balance with peace and joy. Always needed. And a gift when we can have those moments. Tragedy is all around. So painful to see. To feel. I work hard to stay balanced. As do you. Always appreciate how you describe all these feelings and experiences. Thank you.
An absolute learned skill -- one I know I can quickly forget before remembering again. It's a skill I want to keep practicing, always. Thanks for sharing xx
Goodness, I feel like it's what I write about constantly. And I love to know others often seem to be exploring similar themes at similar times -- the interconnectedness of it all.
thank you for this beautiful writing and these beautiful images. moved back to the midwest after 9 years in Santa Cruz last year. i love it here and i miss it there and your images keep the bay area and coast alive in my heart.
This is beautiful Lisa. I have always been someone who refuses to look away from the darker sides of life (it's probably why I became a therapist) but the only alternative, it seems, is to disconnect and numb - I can't bear to live that kind of half life. And I truly believe that our capacity to feel joy is a direct reflection of our capacity to feel pain (our own and the world's) ❤
I'm so grateful for Substack right now. This is what I've needed for a long time. I love writing and reading. Very eloquently put Lisa. The beautiful garden is a gift to us. Watching destruction in front of our eyes snaps us back. We have each other.
Thank you so much for this Lisa. This one is special. All of your writing is so beautiful and so necessary - but you have got to the core of something here which is so crucially important.
'When I see something profoundly aching or beautiful and I choose to really see it, really let it affect me, really let it move me. I want to be affected. I want to be moved.'
Perhaps the greatest burden of the highly sensitive person is to look toward, I've certainly found this to be true. Perhaps that is why we reached for the acid or the wine before we had the emotional and spiritual maturity to look toward it. Like you, I now desire to turn toward all things (as best I can). To gain the skill to be okay in big crowds or to witness difficulty. As you said, to cultivate the understanding that I may soften the blow.
Thank you.
Just yes, to all of this. The burden and the gift; thank you for sharing.
Like your writing does time after time, this really touched me right. In. The. Heart. I’ve been contemplating how to more softly hold both beauty and heartache in my hand at once because isn’t that... life? It’s both the medicine I need and the hardest thing to do. But I’ll keep practicing. Thank you for exploring this and for being so open and honest about all that’s on your mind. ❤️
"Isn't that... life?" This -- yes. Both the medicine and the hardest thing to do, indeed. And it's all a practice -- something I remind myself of constantly. There is no getting it "right"... there's just the willingness to practice. Thank you for reading, for sharing, for doing this exploration alongside me from afar. xx
“ Just. Enough. Room.” To hang on or slip away.
One more share from Cockburn on this beautiful Sunday in Anacortes. These are from the closing lines of his song "Isn't That What Friends Are For" I've shared this with several friends when they have been facing some particularly difficult times. Thought they would resonate with you.
I've been scraping little shavings off my ration of light
And I've formed it into a ball, and each time I pack a bit more onto it
I make a bowl of my hands and I scoop it from its secret cache
Under a loose board in the floor
And I blow across it and I send it to you
Against those moments when
The darkness blows under your door
Isn't that what friends are for?
Isn't that what friends are for?
Isn't that what friends are for?
Beautiful, powerful.
Thank you Lisa. You’ve touched on an issue I’ve been exploring in my own memoir: the act of seeing and being seen. There’s one line I’ll share. “As a small boy, I witnessed some harsh events that were difficult for me to process; I did not look away as I witnessed a neighbor’s dog hit by a car right in front of me while I was alone and unsupervised, no one there to shield my eyes, or watched as my mother lost control in terrifying fits of rage as if I were caught in a hurricane without warning.”
Goodness, this is beautiful. "Caught in a hurricane without warning"... what an image that is, in so many ways. Thank you for sharing -- and for writing what must be said.
🤍 for me, it is a learn-ed skill to stay tender and also have the courage to look right at it all. Temporary relief, it IS just temporary, but allows us to restore our balance with peace and joy. Always needed. And a gift when we can have those moments. Tragedy is all around. So painful to see. To feel. I work hard to stay balanced. As do you. Always appreciate how you describe all these feelings and experiences. Thank you.
An absolute learned skill -- one I know I can quickly forget before remembering again. It's a skill I want to keep practicing, always. Thanks for sharing xx
Thank you for sharing, Lisa. Knowing when to look and when to look away is a lifelong struggle.
Yes, it is -- and a lifelong practice. Thank you for reading.
Last paragraph. I truly needed. You truly are so so so special Lisa, never forget that ❤️❤️❤️
That means so much, thank you. And thank you for reading, for being <3
So so so so good
🧡🧡🧡
Wow. I wrote about this this week too.
Goodness, I feel like it's what I write about constantly. And I love to know others often seem to be exploring similar themes at similar times -- the interconnectedness of it all.
This is wonderful, exactly what I needed at this exact moment 🖤
So glad it reached you 🧡
thank you for this beautiful writing and these beautiful images. moved back to the midwest after 9 years in Santa Cruz last year. i love it here and i miss it there and your images keep the bay area and coast alive in my heart.
Oh I love Santa Cruz so much -- I went to UCSC for undergrad and lived there for years. Such a special, special place. And thank you for reading 🤍
Your description of the burning car reminded me of the lyrics from Bruce Cockburn's song Tokyo.
Here's a portion:
Oh Tokyo -- I never can sleep in your arms
Mind keeps on ringing like a fire alarm
Me and all these other dice bouncing around in the cup
Did you have to show me that accident scene
Didn't I get enough shaking up?
Still I'm gonna miss you...
https://open.spotify.com/track/3Pn4x4ISIK4v0Jpg6HBugH?si=2QUVhvhYRnqW_c0w0BOAFQ
Wow -- beautiful. Going to listen now. Such a gift to read these words.
Beautiful, I’m so glad I found this.
So glad it found you.
This is beautiful Lisa. I have always been someone who refuses to look away from the darker sides of life (it's probably why I became a therapist) but the only alternative, it seems, is to disconnect and numb - I can't bear to live that kind of half life. And I truly believe that our capacity to feel joy is a direct reflection of our capacity to feel pain (our own and the world's) ❤
Yes :-) - like the skill is two sided, feeding each other as one.
I'm so grateful for Substack right now. This is what I've needed for a long time. I love writing and reading. Very eloquently put Lisa. The beautiful garden is a gift to us. Watching destruction in front of our eyes snaps us back. We have each other.
Thank you so much for this Lisa. This one is special. All of your writing is so beautiful and so necessary - but you have got to the core of something here which is so crucially important.
'When I see something profoundly aching or beautiful and I choose to really see it, really let it affect me, really let it move me. I want to be affected. I want to be moved.'
That's how I want to live too!