45 Comments

Beautiful.

I want to stay tender by cultivating compassion for myself and others.

I want to stay tender by learning from my mistakes and growing through them.

I want to stay tender by spending time petting my pups.

I want to stay tender by fostering a sense of curiosity and wonder.

I want to stay tender by engaging in acts of kindness.

I want to stay tender by seeking understanding in moments of disagreement.

I want to stay tender by embracing diversity and celebrating differences.

I want to stay tender by fostering a sense of community and connection.

I want to stay tender by appreciating the beauty in the ordinary moments of life.

I want to stay tender by celebrating creativity.

I want to stay tender by acknowledging the interconnectedness of all living beings.

I want to stay tender by savoring the present and not getting too caught up in the past or future.

I want to stay tender by continuously learning and growing.

I want to stay tender by expressing love and kindness in my relationships.

I want to stay tender by being mindful of the impact of my words and actions on others.

I want to stay tender by embracing change and the uncertainties of life.

I want to stay tender by recognizing and challenging my own biases.

I want to stay tender by taking breaks and resting when needed. Or just when wanted.

I want to stay tender by seeking out moments of silence and stillness.

I want to stay tender by fostering a sense of gratitude for the journey of life.

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Fascinating, and perfect, timing to contemplate tenderness. I was just journaling and meditating about what I need following the death of my Mom a couple weeks ago. I am running on trauma fuelled busyness and exhaustion so meditated on what I need right now. The word restoration came up and shortly after that I read your piece about tenderness which pierced my soul.

I will be tender to myself in this upcoming journey of healing. I will ask for tenderness from others as I respond to them in the same way.

Thank you Lisa.

It is truly wonderful to hear how this healing process went for you!!

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Nov 12, 2023Liked by Lisa Olivera

Your post made me think of the title of the new book that one of my greatest teachers is about to publish: Your Heart Was Made For This.

I asked him, once, how to stay tender, how to stay open... and he replied with a flower analogy:

A flower opens slowly, when conditions are right, and may close again at night. We don’t try to force its petals open. So too, our hearts open in their own time, closing periodically for safety or rest.

I want to stay tender by giving myself permission to rest.

I want to stay tender by caring for myself as I care for my houseplants, observing them and noticing what they need and giving them what they need as much as I can.

I want to stay tender by moving slowly, by taking time to breathe.

Thank you for sharing your heart with us, Lisa.

<3

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I want to stay tender by recognising when I'm not; I want to stay tender in difficult relationships; I want to stay tender towards my failures to relate to others;

I want to stay tender through reading other's perspectives and struggles;

Thanks for the reflections and prompt, Lisa.

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Beautiful and as usual so very helpful. Thank you.

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Thank you, Lisa, for this much-needed reflection and prompt. Tenderness radiates from your words.

The ways you shared in which you want to work to stay tender ring true. I also want to stay tender by reflecting on our interdependence, by immersing myself in nature to absorb its lessons, by seeking out nuance, by saying what I'm scared to say and listening to understand, by asking myself in every situation how I can spread love.

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Beautiful. I want to stay tender by staying in the present moment and facing fully what is there to be felt, the good, the bad and the ugly 🧡

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Lisa, what a wonderful piece, not only because I can see in myself so much of what you are writing but also your writing with strength,passion and tenderness.

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I've been so intrigued to hear about your experience since you first mentioned it Lisa. A couple of years ago now I began working on a memoir, Becoming: A Psychedelic Search for Wholeness in a Fragmented World, which was woven around a year of self-held psilocybin ceremonies.

I can deeply relate to what you've shared above: that wholly embodied tenderness that enables you to envelop yourself in unconditional love. It truly is the most transcendent yet fully human experience I've ever encountered, for me words simply cannot do it justice. I think this is what these medicines can offer us above all else: a visceral sense of our own belonging, to this world of course, but also to ourselves.

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Thank you for the tender words. I’ve had my own heart experience with the medicine and this helped me reconnect.

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Lisa, I believe in tenderness- in softness. No growth comes from being hardened and rigid. Thank you for this work. D

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Nov 12, 2023Liked by Lisa Olivera

This, and your shared personal work, is precious. You inspire, demonstrate, open our curiosity about… Tenderness.

Your example draws me into the tender space, opens a door, previously ajar - a little safer now. A little less self doubt now, a little less fear of external critics saying such is selfish, now.

Your trailblazing continues to be a gift to the universe, and we may all receive it - the infinite ripples turn us. Thank you.

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Nov 12, 2023Liked by Lisa Olivera

Thank you for sharing, Lisa. It sounds like it was a profound journey.

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Wow ❤️❤️ needed this. Thank you ✨

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Thank you for sharing the little bits of your journey! I am excited for you and what else comes to the surface during this process. I recently realized I can feel myself starting to harden or act from a place of hardness, I always regret it, even if the people around me don't recognize it. When I feel this happening, I need to slow down and ask "what fear is driving this behavior?" Once I acknowledge that, I find it is easier for me to be more open with others because I have tended to and acknowledged the fear rather than feed the fear. I didn't have a word for what that openness was or felt like until reading this piece! Thank you again for being willing to share.

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I’m a student who has recently come back from a solo trip to front line Ukraine. I’ve just published a new piece on my experiences and thought readers here may appreciate it. Please do see what you think. https://irongoose.substack.com/

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