So beautiful, so relatable. I often sing to myself "just keep swimming, just keep swimming", from Finding Nemo, if you don't get the reference haha.
I have been in "one foot in front of the other" for the past five years, particularly this last year. I had an attempt at the very beginning of the Fall semester and after that weekend, I taught the grad course I was lecturing, I was consulting with athletes (I am a CMPC), I was still going to my serving job, and working on my dissertation (I should add, I don't think I was doing any of these things well). I look back and have NO IDEA how I just kept going, but it was the only thing I knew how to do, what to do. I'm still mostly in that space now, no particular motivation to do things, not a lot of enjoyment in the things I do, but I just have to do "... the next right thing." (Frozen 2, are you seeing a theme? lol). Or not even the next "right" thing, just the next thing.
I know one day, it won't feel like I have to just make it through, like I have to just do the next thing to make it through. Or at least I hope one day that comes, that one day there's a little more ease in my life, maybe a spark of joy or motivation in the things I am working so hard towards.
Thank you for sharing so authentically, it inspires me to do the same.
Thank you so much for sharing, Allie -- "the next thing" can be such a supportive guidepost when figuring things out feels like too much. Here's to one next thing, and then another. Thank you for being here.
Thank you for this post, Lisa. As a bereaved mother, the state of keep-goingness is only too familiar - part of the ordinary miracle of living with an unbuffered heart. And I really appreciated your linked reads, too.
Wise words and a welcome reminder that I’ve survived bad times in the past and will probably live through this one, even though I can’t see how right now.
As usual, Lisa, your words meet me in the magical space of shared feelings and questions and stories. That word “existential” has been swimming around my thoughts of late, which feel overwhelming large, though I am “okay” in the day-to-day sense of life. Thank you for reminding me of my capability and resources--internal and external--and for permission not to know.
Goodness, yes to all of this. I so hear you in the existential feeling big... And it *is* big, but I try to remember we aren't meant to tackle it all, or know it all, or even understand it all. Not right now and not ever. Slow and steady, small steps, and moment to moment exploration is often more attainable and nourishing. Thank you for your presence here.
Thank you for this Lisa. I’m also in a place of not knowing how to keep going right now. Not knowing what each day will bring, let alone the future. I quit my job and decided to take a couple of months off from working in order to figure out what I really want to do. I was really unhappy with where I was at, so I don’t regret it. But what I thought would be a fun vacation of sorts has ended up so far being a time of feeling lost and uncertain. It helps to know that I’m not the only one living with this uncertainty. I hope that I can find my way, too.
So beautiful, so relatable. I often sing to myself "just keep swimming, just keep swimming", from Finding Nemo, if you don't get the reference haha.
I have been in "one foot in front of the other" for the past five years, particularly this last year. I had an attempt at the very beginning of the Fall semester and after that weekend, I taught the grad course I was lecturing, I was consulting with athletes (I am a CMPC), I was still going to my serving job, and working on my dissertation (I should add, I don't think I was doing any of these things well). I look back and have NO IDEA how I just kept going, but it was the only thing I knew how to do, what to do. I'm still mostly in that space now, no particular motivation to do things, not a lot of enjoyment in the things I do, but I just have to do "... the next right thing." (Frozen 2, are you seeing a theme? lol). Or not even the next "right" thing, just the next thing.
I know one day, it won't feel like I have to just make it through, like I have to just do the next thing to make it through. Or at least I hope one day that comes, that one day there's a little more ease in my life, maybe a spark of joy or motivation in the things I am working so hard towards.
Thank you for sharing so authentically, it inspires me to do the same.
Thank you so much for sharing, Allie -- "the next thing" can be such a supportive guidepost when figuring things out feels like too much. Here's to one next thing, and then another. Thank you for being here.
As always, I needed your words just now. Thank you so much for writing them.
Thank you for reading -- so grateful it connected with you.
Thank you for this post, Lisa. As a bereaved mother, the state of keep-goingness is only too familiar - part of the ordinary miracle of living with an unbuffered heart. And I really appreciated your linked reads, too.
"the ordinary miracle of living with an unbuffered heart" -- oof, yes. This. Thank you for sharing and for being here.
Thank you for sharing all of this human stuff, Lisa!
I have the feeling to share this piece I wrote a few months ago about letting go and moving on: https://surrendernow.substack.com/p/letting-go-and-moving-on?s=w
Wise words and a welcome reminder that I’ve survived bad times in the past and will probably live through this one, even though I can’t see how right now.
Absolutely yes. I know it's hard to see it sometimes - and I think remembering these seasons shift and change as we do can be so helpful.
As usual, Lisa, your words meet me in the magical space of shared feelings and questions and stories. That word “existential” has been swimming around my thoughts of late, which feel overwhelming large, though I am “okay” in the day-to-day sense of life. Thank you for reminding me of my capability and resources--internal and external--and for permission not to know.
Goodness, yes to all of this. I so hear you in the existential feeling big... And it *is* big, but I try to remember we aren't meant to tackle it all, or know it all, or even understand it all. Not right now and not ever. Slow and steady, small steps, and moment to moment exploration is often more attainable and nourishing. Thank you for your presence here.
needed to hear this today <3 thank you!
Thank you for this Lisa. I’m also in a place of not knowing how to keep going right now. Not knowing what each day will bring, let alone the future. I quit my job and decided to take a couple of months off from working in order to figure out what I really want to do. I was really unhappy with where I was at, so I don’t regret it. But what I thought would be a fun vacation of sorts has ended up so far being a time of feeling lost and uncertain. It helps to know that I’m not the only one living with this uncertainty. I hope that I can find my way, too.