Your reflections this week, but especially the invitations, hit home for me. As a male educator, I am cognizant of the effect I have on my students, especially my young male students. I teach at the college level, and many of my students come from backgrounds that value machismo and just pushing through and not asking for help. A simple example is wearing glasses is seen as a weakness. I try and counter these narratives by showing them it's okay to ask for help and to admit your shortcomings. I try to normalize and model emotional openness as I work through my own stunted emotional development as a product of how I was raised.
Also, something about the song this week was just perfect for this entry. Thank you as always for doing what you do.
Celebrating you over here! ❤️ I've just written about my own self-diagnosis of ADHD over on my substack too -- tomorrow I'll be making an appointment for a formal assessment. The relief I've felt shifts to shame and then grief and then back to elation, and I know there will be more... but so grateful to have made this discovery. So grateful to see a speck of light ahead xo
These feelings you have really resonate with me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so vulnerably as always. A friend recently shared with me over dinner that she has also started treatment for ADHD and it has helped her a ton. This is opening my mind and helping me also take a self-compassionate look at my own struggles. Thank you for continuing to show up even when it’s really difficult. I always look forward to this newsletter.
Ah, Lisa...this newsletter is everything. Thank you for sharing. As always, it’s always a breath of fresh air to read before heading into the week. 🙏🏽❤️✨
"I am realizing it isn’t my job to prove to you why I make the decisions I make… it’s my job to align myself with my own decisions and hold them fiercely." amen forever
Fellow late diagnosed inattentive ADHDer here👋 Cngratulations on figuring this out about yourself! Everything you've written today really resonates with me. I was also diagnosed after having my daughter. This was 3 years ago at age 34. My doctor's also theorized that my bout of postpartum depression was brought on by untreated ADHD (I definitely think it was).
The first day I took medication I cried - was this how everyone has been feeling?! I felt excited, robbed, and grief (still so much grief 3 years later).
The medication + shame struggle never really goes away completely.
As someone who's been writing/talking about ADHD in women for while, but also not dancing around pointing at word bubbles about it, it's always nice to read a thoughtful essay on the subject.
I’m so happy for you that you’ve found this new way of being with your body, spirit and brain. My favorite part of this whole piece of writing is when you speak about why you won’t explain or justify your decision to take meds. To me that is incredibly powerful, and key to breaking up supremacy/binary thinking that we are hard socialized in to. ❤️
Hi Lisa! Welcome to the Neurodivergent club officially!!
When I was 26 I went back to school to study Speech Pathology and I vividly remember my professor explaining neurodivergent tendencies to us. Something clicked and I saw myself in his description. Within a month I was diagnosed with ADHD and found out that I'm also Autistic! (Woohoo!) I had been working with kids on the autism spectrum and suddenly it made sense why it had felt so easy being with them. Our brains worked the same way! There was a lot of grief to process - memories making more sense from when I was younger and feelings of sadness that I didn't know how to better articulate how challenging the world felt at an earlier age. That grief was followed by waves of relief and gratitude though that I could finally understand myself in a way that made sense. I practice advocating for my needs daily and yet I'm so incredibly grateful to be neurodivergent. More and more of my loved ones have discovered their own neurodivergence through our conversations and it feels like a gift to step out of the previously too small box I was in before without even realizing how squished I felt. Thank you for bravely sharing your story. I loved reading it!! Sending you all the spaciousness you desire to be with yourself in this identity transformation.
As always, thank you. And from a fellow counselor, a deep thank you this week. One of the most powerful things in that for me was naming the tension of feeling like you need to justify it and explain it, but choosing to stay true to your needs instead.
Really meaningful post. I am happy you shared and happy to know that the shame feeling is outside the window and your acknowledging it's there. I think there are more who are neurodivergent than "neuro-normal". It all very fascinating to me the neuro science that we are discovering and how the brain is wired. I hope it will lead to more accepting culture knowing that we all are so very different.
Lisa I can’t thank you enough for choosing to write about this along with what you’re processing. I recently received an official diagnosis of ADHD and am trialing medication for it. Every single one of your thoughts resonated deeply as I’ve struggled with how to proceed and share about it publicly. Most of everything I know now was because someone chose to be open about their experience and I’m so grateful. Thank you for the wisdom and for reminding us all to hold ourselves with grace and compassion.
Thank you for sharing, I also have ADHD and when I got diagnosed I got so many mixed feelings about it. Everyone should choose what works best for them. Love this essay so much ❤️
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing these words with us. What especially resonated with me was what you said about allowing ourselves to realise that we know what’s best for ourselves - it felt good to be reminded of that because it’s so easy to forget sometimes. I am sending you so much love!❤️✨
Lisa, I want to express deep gratitude for your personal share here, and I am so glad to read that you are feeling supported by medication in this season of your life. Your answers to the question of why it feels tender and meaningful really hit home for me. “Seeing ourselves in one another is healing. Seeing our hard parts mirrored in people we admire or resonate with is healing.” You are someone I admire and resonate with, and I witness my experience mirrored in yours. I have been grappling with my own possible neurodivergence, and reading your words today has nudged me back toward accepting and nurturing this part of myself, including seeking evaluation for ADHD. 💓
Your reflections this week, but especially the invitations, hit home for me. As a male educator, I am cognizant of the effect I have on my students, especially my young male students. I teach at the college level, and many of my students come from backgrounds that value machismo and just pushing through and not asking for help. A simple example is wearing glasses is seen as a weakness. I try and counter these narratives by showing them it's okay to ask for help and to admit your shortcomings. I try to normalize and model emotional openness as I work through my own stunted emotional development as a product of how I was raised.
Also, something about the song this week was just perfect for this entry. Thank you as always for doing what you do.
Celebrating you over here! ❤️ I've just written about my own self-diagnosis of ADHD over on my substack too -- tomorrow I'll be making an appointment for a formal assessment. The relief I've felt shifts to shame and then grief and then back to elation, and I know there will be more... but so grateful to have made this discovery. So grateful to see a speck of light ahead xo
These feelings you have really resonate with me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so vulnerably as always. A friend recently shared with me over dinner that she has also started treatment for ADHD and it has helped her a ton. This is opening my mind and helping me also take a self-compassionate look at my own struggles. Thank you for continuing to show up even when it’s really difficult. I always look forward to this newsletter.
Ah, Lisa...this newsletter is everything. Thank you for sharing. As always, it’s always a breath of fresh air to read before heading into the week. 🙏🏽❤️✨
Thank you for sharing this ❤️
"I am realizing it isn’t my job to prove to you why I make the decisions I make… it’s my job to align myself with my own decisions and hold them fiercely." amen forever
Fellow late diagnosed inattentive ADHDer here👋 Cngratulations on figuring this out about yourself! Everything you've written today really resonates with me. I was also diagnosed after having my daughter. This was 3 years ago at age 34. My doctor's also theorized that my bout of postpartum depression was brought on by untreated ADHD (I definitely think it was).
The first day I took medication I cried - was this how everyone has been feeling?! I felt excited, robbed, and grief (still so much grief 3 years later).
In case it's helpful I found Elizabeth Banks work around ADHD to be very useful (https://www.instagram.com/coachelizabethbrink/ and https://www.thrivingsistercoaching.com/)
as well as Jesse Meadows' "Critical ADHD Studies" work (who I may have discovered through you?) https://sluggish.substack.com/p/the-critical-adhd-studies-syllabus
They both take a systematic lens to ADHD ❤️
Thank you for continuing to share your journey!
Congratulations on your decision.
The medication + shame struggle never really goes away completely.
As someone who's been writing/talking about ADHD in women for while, but also not dancing around pointing at word bubbles about it, it's always nice to read a thoughtful essay on the subject.
I’m so happy for you that you’ve found this new way of being with your body, spirit and brain. My favorite part of this whole piece of writing is when you speak about why you won’t explain or justify your decision to take meds. To me that is incredibly powerful, and key to breaking up supremacy/binary thinking that we are hard socialized in to. ❤️
Hi Lisa! Welcome to the Neurodivergent club officially!!
When I was 26 I went back to school to study Speech Pathology and I vividly remember my professor explaining neurodivergent tendencies to us. Something clicked and I saw myself in his description. Within a month I was diagnosed with ADHD and found out that I'm also Autistic! (Woohoo!) I had been working with kids on the autism spectrum and suddenly it made sense why it had felt so easy being with them. Our brains worked the same way! There was a lot of grief to process - memories making more sense from when I was younger and feelings of sadness that I didn't know how to better articulate how challenging the world felt at an earlier age. That grief was followed by waves of relief and gratitude though that I could finally understand myself in a way that made sense. I practice advocating for my needs daily and yet I'm so incredibly grateful to be neurodivergent. More and more of my loved ones have discovered their own neurodivergence through our conversations and it feels like a gift to step out of the previously too small box I was in before without even realizing how squished I felt. Thank you for bravely sharing your story. I loved reading it!! Sending you all the spaciousness you desire to be with yourself in this identity transformation.
As always, thank you. And from a fellow counselor, a deep thank you this week. One of the most powerful things in that for me was naming the tension of feeling like you need to justify it and explain it, but choosing to stay true to your needs instead.
So powerful. So compassionate. So kind.
Really meaningful post. I am happy you shared and happy to know that the shame feeling is outside the window and your acknowledging it's there. I think there are more who are neurodivergent than "neuro-normal". It all very fascinating to me the neuro science that we are discovering and how the brain is wired. I hope it will lead to more accepting culture knowing that we all are so very different.
Lisa I can’t thank you enough for choosing to write about this along with what you’re processing. I recently received an official diagnosis of ADHD and am trialing medication for it. Every single one of your thoughts resonated deeply as I’ve struggled with how to proceed and share about it publicly. Most of everything I know now was because someone chose to be open about their experience and I’m so grateful. Thank you for the wisdom and for reminding us all to hold ourselves with grace and compassion.
Thank you for sharing, I also have ADHD and when I got diagnosed I got so many mixed feelings about it. Everyone should choose what works best for them. Love this essay so much ❤️
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing these words with us. What especially resonated with me was what you said about allowing ourselves to realise that we know what’s best for ourselves - it felt good to be reminded of that because it’s so easy to forget sometimes. I am sending you so much love!❤️✨
Lisa, I want to express deep gratitude for your personal share here, and I am so glad to read that you are feeling supported by medication in this season of your life. Your answers to the question of why it feels tender and meaningful really hit home for me. “Seeing ourselves in one another is healing. Seeing our hard parts mirrored in people we admire or resonate with is healing.” You are someone I admire and resonate with, and I witness my experience mirrored in yours. I have been grappling with my own possible neurodivergence, and reading your words today has nudged me back toward accepting and nurturing this part of myself, including seeking evaluation for ADHD. 💓