39 Comments

I feel a baffled by how often your writing triggers an “ahhh, yes!” Inside :-)

Deliberation has derailed me so often, and looking deeply, it’s most often rooted in fearing loss of approval, more so than the black and white of success or failure.

In the end, I realize how this ends up giving others power over my direction, destiny. Ugh!!

Lately, I’ve been inviting choices from my inner movements, and it feels so simple, so good.

I’m learning the power in saying the following to myself while deciding to act.

“I will support you, john, whatever the outcome. I will not abandon you.”

Simple but powerful. So much here to learn. I’m grateful to you, Lisa, for your reminder that we are here to contribute as Us, not some image drawn for us!

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"I will not abandon you" to the self... this is everything. And is so simple, yet the most powerful things usually are. Thank you for sharing this here; it felt really meaningful to read, as always, and I'm so grateful for your reflections and willingness to connect around this shared experience. xx

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You’re welcome.

The experiences you share here and in your book helped open my eyes to how I abandon myself when most vulnerable. My gratitude!

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I loved this post! Thank you! I too am trying to make my life "smaller" and to shape-shift. Lovely insight and beautiful writing.

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Thank you for reading -- here's to meaningful smallness and shape-shifting 🧡

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ohhh Lisa, your writing is like drinking water for my bones, my soul.

I deliberate a lot too, thank you for the gentle reminder that it is probably there as a protector.. funny the way the brain will try to protect us in the most unhelpful, helpful ways.

"If I had only known then..." I've been thinking a lot about past me, and what that past me what think of present me now and what my present me would tell my past me then... I often think that past me would be ultimately pretty disappointed in present me, the things I've done and can't take back. I think because of this, I have not allowed myself to celebrate some of my big accomplishments, like finishing my PhD (I chose not to walk and get hooded). I told myself I just didn't want to sit through a third graduation ceremony, but really I was disappointed, didn't feel like I really deserved the celebration of finishing. And I know future me will look back at that me... and wonder why I was so damn hard on myself, because actually I finished and graduated against all freaking odds.

I feel happy for you for going back to your practice. Your clients are very lucky. I am just trying to start my practice. It's hard. And I understand the feeling of "should I really take the leap" ... I just finished my Intermediate year of Somatic Experiencing training, and am excited to share it with the world (well as many people as I can lol). To new beginnings, and tryings, and goings for it, and leapings.

Thank you as always, for sharing your gift with the world.

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To new beginnings, and tryings, and going for its, and leapings... oh yes to this. And what a gift you have to share -- I've explored/considered SE training for many years and may go that route eventually. There are endless opportunities to learn, grow, change. Thank you for sharing this lovely reflection and for being here <3

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Congratulations! You worked hard and deserve it!Best of luck getting your practice going.

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Lisa, For me there is nothing so beautiful as a woman complete with wrinkles smiling. I wish you well on your next adventure. D

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Thank you!

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Your links are always interesting but it was somehow a treat to not have any. This must be part of that gift of smallness. ❤️

Your words—“There is such nourishment in seeing myself…as a tiny, tiny piece of a whole”—resonated with me. Recognizing smallness brings me such peace and yet somehow I have to remember it over and over. Thanks for helping me remember it again in a beautiful way.

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It really does take so much remembrance, doesn't it? I find myself needing those continual reminders, too, almost like a meditative practice. Thank you for your reflection <3

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Beautiful... thank you for sharing. ♥️ I closed my therapy practice in March of this year and resonate with some of what you shared about the reasons...and the difficulties in disappointing others with that decision.

It's lovely to see you following the current call to return. We get to keep on evolving... as many times as possible. Kudos for listening. ✨

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It's such a tender thing -- the leaving, the returning, all of it. And knowing both are always available, should needs/desires/capacities shift again... we get to keep evolving, yes <3

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Deliberating definitely feels like a protective mechanism for me too. A sign of perfectionism: when I’m stuck on making the “right” choice. Though I think being impulsive in the past was its own barrier too (swaying between extremes ha!). Oh that elusive balance to find… ⚖️

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Ohh the balance of both, yes yes yes to this. It can so easily sway farther on either side. Thank you for that reflection!

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Thank you for sharing your musings with us. Your thoughts often connect and encourage. Grateful!

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So grateful for that. xx

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Hi Lisa, this is the first post of yours that I've read, just want to say I appreciate the combination of thoughtfulness and personal inputs you infuse into your writing. I am an "over-deliberator" and also wrestle with my ego over accepting a smaller life than my youthful aspirations may have wanted. I've decided it's ok to just begin even without the deliberations being complete, without the path being completely clear, and without personally feeling properly prepared. Sometimes you just have to go, otherwise you can stay in deliberation land forever.

Reducing the size of my aspirations has also helped me proceed. I don't have to "change the world" I can start by just putting up a post for something I've been thinking about. I like how you use Substack almost like a personal diary, it's making me rethink how I do mine, where I sometimes feel pressure to "teach people something" rather than just share what's going on in my life, there is something genuine and refreshing about the way you're doing this.

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Sometimes you just have to go -- yes, feeling this very much. Thank you for reading.

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Love this. Thank you.

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Thank you for reading <3

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Will you do any virtual clients?

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Yes! All virtual (for now).

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As always it’s a breath of fresh air to read your posts. All resonated so much. And thank you for leaving out your wonderful Sparks Of Interest links! LOL! 💙

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I am so grateful for that. And it felt good to not share anything extra today :)

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Beautiful words, thanks for sharing!

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Thank you for reading <3

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A life made smaller is often one that feels bigger, a gorgeous reminder 💖

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'Right-sized presence' is such a grounding phrase. How do you navigate the tension between ambition and the contentment of the 'small'?

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Love: "letting ourselves discover something meaningful in the lostness " and "to let What Is be".

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