I always look forward to your newsletters on Sunday, and today was no different. Thank you for the reminder that we’re all moving through our own seasons. I’ve been experiencing heavy feelings all of a sudden. My first instinct is to avoid them, but you’ve offered an alternative perspective that I truly appreciate. Instead of running away, I’m going to lean forward with curiosity and see where it takes me. Thank you for sharing your gift. ❤️
I relate so much to the first instinct to avoid them -- I don't think most of us were taught how to turn toward the heavy stuff. And how compassionate to practice leaning forward instead (when we can, knowing it's also completely valid to *need* to tune out sometimes) and seeing what we find. Thank you for sharing this reflection, it means a lot to read. <3
I, too, long for winter and all of the coziness it brings. I feel most like myself this time of year and it can be hard to let that go as the season comes to a close. Thank you for the reminder to lean in to the difficulties, to embrace the joy FULLY, to ease in to the next season when the time comes. Your writing always hits home for me. Thank you for sharing.
A part of me hates winter. I hate the cold, I hate the dark, I don’t like the snow that much unless I’m going downhill on it in a speedy manner. And maybe I wouldn’t despise it so much, if we all slowed down with it together. If deadlines didn’t have to be met and final grades didn’t have to be turned in. If we could wake up and settle with the sun. But I think, I too, fear the more restful state, because I have gotten stuck and it has been hard to gain momentum and I never want to enter that space again, even though I realize it is necessary sometimes. Especially right now, for myself. I am going through a huge grieving period with suppressed memories and unresolved trauma, and the heaviness of that, the heaviness of the grief, the heaviness of the loneliness, the heaviness of winter, is here. I’m trying so hard to just be with it rather than push it away. My body is so exhausted that I can’t really run away from it right now, like I usually do. Fall, Winter, the holidays, just were not a good time growing up. And from the years 2019 - 2021 I attempted suicide at least once in those years. I jokingly made it a new year resolution for 2022 that I would not have a suicide attempt, it was a joke not because I didn’t mean it, but because it felt pathetic, it didn’t actually seem possible (as I was still extremely suicidal at the time), and it didn’t seem like I actually needed to set a “goal” for something like this. And as the year is ending, and I have not had an attempt, I feel this internal “freak out” with it. A resistance almost or maybe a sense of desperation, a small voice still pleading with me to take this option as it is the only way to escape the pain, the flashbacks, the horrors that happened in childhood, to avoid the future, to avoid being inadequate, to avoid the possibility of never being enough. And sometimes it’s hard to not agree with that small voice, especially when I have days like yesterday, a day filled with flashbacks and torture. A pleading with the universe to end the suffering, asking why I am even here if just to be tormented with. But maybe this winter, I can listen without running, I can rest without getting stuck. Maybe I can let my roots settle into the ground this winer, so that I can bloom in the spring.
Lisa, thank you for sharing your love for winter. It helps me open up to the possibility of at least appreciating winter for what it is. To be with it; allow it; instead of wishing for something different.
I hear and see you. Thank you for this tender share -- I know many have moved through similar questions and fears, and you showing up for yourself through it all is such a gift. Thank you for being here 🤍
How lovely to come back to winter - especially this part:
"The ache you might find in your chest, in your bones… the grief or sadness that may arise in the midst of this fallow season… the loneliness or comparison, the missing or the longing, the desperation for light or the desire for more energy… if you experience this, it all makes sense and I wonder if welcoming it, allowing it, letting it be there might feel more nourishing than wishing it away, wondering what’s wrong with you, or clinging to a brighter season that just isn’t here yet but will be soon."
Hi, Lisa! Thank you for the letter. I'm glad I will receive them regularly. After the letter I wanted to find a post on Instagram with questions you ask yourself at the end of the year and ask myself one question a day, write down my answers. Suddenly I wanted to have a good December, athough in the beginning I was said when it arrived.
P.S. Congratulations on the birth of your daugher and the publication of your book. Never had a chance to say it:)
P.P.S. The photos are beautiful. The ceramics one reminded me that I once had a thought that I would to do something with clay.
Funny enough, this line here, “May it bring you delicious soup and warm cups of something good.
And may we all embrace whatever it is we might find here.” -- my wife was walking towards our car with a bowl of hot soup from our favorite market. I smiled and chuckled because truly, how simple life can be.
Today’s Sunday letter is like a reminder of the gentleness and slowness that Winter truly is. I’ve also deleted the app for the month of December, and I am noticing in just one day how much I would go on the app and consume endless information. Safe to say, my brain feels tired and relieved.
This letter also reminds me of how much we try to also fill the holidays/winter time with expected items -- filling up even more the schedule; I loved the essence of simply s p a c e .
I love the soup synchronicity and the reminder of simplicity - such a gift. And I so resonate with your reflection here -- "tired and relieved" feels so accurate. Thank you for sharing and for being here 🤍
Thank you so much for your gorgeous words! They have felt nourishing and deeply needed. I often find myself wanting to just ignore the heaviness - but being with it instead of escaping it is often much more needed, even though it’s hard to resist the urge of just passing it by. Sending you so much love🫶🏻✨
So hard to resist that urge! And sometimes, just passing it by is necessary, too -- I've learned I don't always have the capacity to be with every moment of heaviness. But discerning between when I *do* have that capacity and when I just don't *want* to, versus when I really need a step back from being with it all, feels like real care of myself. Thank you for sharing your reflection here ❤️
Thank you for this meditation on winter. Reminds me of the “fallow field” or “fallowing” wisdom that I learned long ago in a 12-Step group. Really helps to widen the lens, to get perspective.
My daughter loves Phoebe Bridgers and since we spend a lot of time together in the car, so do I now. I even play her music when I sit at my desk. As sad as a lot of her songs are, they are also very soothing. 💕
I love that -- and love Phoebe. Such beautiful songwriting. And this makes me envision the image of listening to the music my daughter ends up liking in the future, wondering what it will be and how we'll connect over it. Thank you for sharing 🤍
It’s actually pretty amazing what you’ll listen to with your own children. Both my girls like a lot of the music I like and listened to as a teen. We have the best car rides singing along to stuff. 😍
I so appreciate the warmth of your words. I read this particular letter with a bigger-than-usual smile in my heart. My son will soon be 6 months old and his name is Winter. We live in the Canadian prairies where we have cold, snowy winters that last sometimes more than four months of the year. It’s not unusual to hear folks barking on about the harshness of the cold, and it’s easy to get bogged down by the seeming endlessness of it. Nonetheless I’ve always appreciated the winter season here, mainly because of the way it forces us to move inwards - into our homes, but more so, into ourselves, as you’ve mentioned - and since having a child who shares a name with this bitter season, I’ve come to love it even more, of course. The hardest times can be the ones that bring to us the most. My head fills with the poetry and parallels of motherhood and the changing of the seasons. So much to be said there.
This reading was a perfect hygge-esque pairing to this favourite season of mine. Thank you thank you ♥️
On the course retiring, does that mean the access goes away in January? That if I were going to purchase I’d need to go through it all now or is it downloadable to move through when I can?
I always look forward to your newsletters on Sunday, and today was no different. Thank you for the reminder that we’re all moving through our own seasons. I’ve been experiencing heavy feelings all of a sudden. My first instinct is to avoid them, but you’ve offered an alternative perspective that I truly appreciate. Instead of running away, I’m going to lean forward with curiosity and see where it takes me. Thank you for sharing your gift. ❤️
I relate so much to the first instinct to avoid them -- I don't think most of us were taught how to turn toward the heavy stuff. And how compassionate to practice leaning forward instead (when we can, knowing it's also completely valid to *need* to tune out sometimes) and seeing what we find. Thank you for sharing this reflection, it means a lot to read. <3
Loved every bit of this. Thank you.
So so glad <3
I, too, long for winter and all of the coziness it brings. I feel most like myself this time of year and it can be hard to let that go as the season comes to a close. Thank you for the reminder to lean in to the difficulties, to embrace the joy FULLY, to ease in to the next season when the time comes. Your writing always hits home for me. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for this reflection -- I so relate to your words. <3
I just signed up for the 30 day Yoga with Adriene, and I am excited!
Oh amazing! If I create some sort of connection space around that specifically, I will definitely share it here. It's such a nourishing practice.
Sounds wonderful! 🤍
A part of me hates winter. I hate the cold, I hate the dark, I don’t like the snow that much unless I’m going downhill on it in a speedy manner. And maybe I wouldn’t despise it so much, if we all slowed down with it together. If deadlines didn’t have to be met and final grades didn’t have to be turned in. If we could wake up and settle with the sun. But I think, I too, fear the more restful state, because I have gotten stuck and it has been hard to gain momentum and I never want to enter that space again, even though I realize it is necessary sometimes. Especially right now, for myself. I am going through a huge grieving period with suppressed memories and unresolved trauma, and the heaviness of that, the heaviness of the grief, the heaviness of the loneliness, the heaviness of winter, is here. I’m trying so hard to just be with it rather than push it away. My body is so exhausted that I can’t really run away from it right now, like I usually do. Fall, Winter, the holidays, just were not a good time growing up. And from the years 2019 - 2021 I attempted suicide at least once in those years. I jokingly made it a new year resolution for 2022 that I would not have a suicide attempt, it was a joke not because I didn’t mean it, but because it felt pathetic, it didn’t actually seem possible (as I was still extremely suicidal at the time), and it didn’t seem like I actually needed to set a “goal” for something like this. And as the year is ending, and I have not had an attempt, I feel this internal “freak out” with it. A resistance almost or maybe a sense of desperation, a small voice still pleading with me to take this option as it is the only way to escape the pain, the flashbacks, the horrors that happened in childhood, to avoid the future, to avoid being inadequate, to avoid the possibility of never being enough. And sometimes it’s hard to not agree with that small voice, especially when I have days like yesterday, a day filled with flashbacks and torture. A pleading with the universe to end the suffering, asking why I am even here if just to be tormented with. But maybe this winter, I can listen without running, I can rest without getting stuck. Maybe I can let my roots settle into the ground this winer, so that I can bloom in the spring.
Lisa, thank you for sharing your love for winter. It helps me open up to the possibility of at least appreciating winter for what it is. To be with it; allow it; instead of wishing for something different.
I hear and see you. Thank you for this tender share -- I know many have moved through similar questions and fears, and you showing up for yourself through it all is such a gift. Thank you for being here 🤍
How lovely to come back to winter - especially this part:
"The ache you might find in your chest, in your bones… the grief or sadness that may arise in the midst of this fallow season… the loneliness or comparison, the missing or the longing, the desperation for light or the desire for more energy… if you experience this, it all makes sense and I wonder if welcoming it, allowing it, letting it be there might feel more nourishing than wishing it away, wondering what’s wrong with you, or clinging to a brighter season that just isn’t here yet but will be soon."
And the pure bliss of River. Thank You.
River truly is bliss -- and thank you for your reflection. xx
Hi, Lisa! Thank you for the letter. I'm glad I will receive them regularly. After the letter I wanted to find a post on Instagram with questions you ask yourself at the end of the year and ask myself one question a day, write down my answers. Suddenly I wanted to have a good December, athough in the beginning I was said when it arrived.
P.S. Congratulations on the birth of your daugher and the publication of your book. Never had a chance to say it:)
P.P.S. The photos are beautiful. The ceramics one reminded me that I once had a thought that I would to do something with clay.
Thank you so much for these kind words -- so grateful. <3
Funny enough, this line here, “May it bring you delicious soup and warm cups of something good.
And may we all embrace whatever it is we might find here.” -- my wife was walking towards our car with a bowl of hot soup from our favorite market. I smiled and chuckled because truly, how simple life can be.
Today’s Sunday letter is like a reminder of the gentleness and slowness that Winter truly is. I’ve also deleted the app for the month of December, and I am noticing in just one day how much I would go on the app and consume endless information. Safe to say, my brain feels tired and relieved.
This letter also reminds me of how much we try to also fill the holidays/winter time with expected items -- filling up even more the schedule; I loved the essence of simply s p a c e .
Thank you for your words, dear friend. 🤍
I love the soup synchronicity and the reminder of simplicity - such a gift. And I so resonate with your reflection here -- "tired and relieved" feels so accurate. Thank you for sharing and for being here 🤍
Thank you for creating this space for our words to land safely and thank you sharing a piece of your world with us ✨
Thank you so much for your gorgeous words! They have felt nourishing and deeply needed. I often find myself wanting to just ignore the heaviness - but being with it instead of escaping it is often much more needed, even though it’s hard to resist the urge of just passing it by. Sending you so much love🫶🏻✨
So hard to resist that urge! And sometimes, just passing it by is necessary, too -- I've learned I don't always have the capacity to be with every moment of heaviness. But discerning between when I *do* have that capacity and when I just don't *want* to, versus when I really need a step back from being with it all, feels like real care of myself. Thank you for sharing your reflection here ❤️
Thank you for this meditation on winter. Reminds me of the “fallow field” or “fallowing” wisdom that I learned long ago in a 12-Step group. Really helps to widen the lens, to get perspective.
Yes! I love the fallowing wisdom so much -- really resonant. Thank you for sharing!
My daughter loves Phoebe Bridgers and since we spend a lot of time together in the car, so do I now. I even play her music when I sit at my desk. As sad as a lot of her songs are, they are also very soothing. 💕
I love that -- and love Phoebe. Such beautiful songwriting. And this makes me envision the image of listening to the music my daughter ends up liking in the future, wondering what it will be and how we'll connect over it. Thank you for sharing 🤍
It’s actually pretty amazing what you’ll listen to with your own children. Both my girls like a lot of the music I like and listened to as a teen. We have the best car rides singing along to stuff. 😍
Love that so much.
I so appreciate the warmth of your words. I read this particular letter with a bigger-than-usual smile in my heart. My son will soon be 6 months old and his name is Winter. We live in the Canadian prairies where we have cold, snowy winters that last sometimes more than four months of the year. It’s not unusual to hear folks barking on about the harshness of the cold, and it’s easy to get bogged down by the seeming endlessness of it. Nonetheless I’ve always appreciated the winter season here, mainly because of the way it forces us to move inwards - into our homes, but more so, into ourselves, as you’ve mentioned - and since having a child who shares a name with this bitter season, I’ve come to love it even more, of course. The hardest times can be the ones that bring to us the most. My head fills with the poetry and parallels of motherhood and the changing of the seasons. So much to be said there.
This reading was a perfect hygge-esque pairing to this favourite season of mine. Thank you thank you ♥️
Lisa, This piece is spectacular. I love the flow. I love the message. Nice job! D
This post was breathtakingly beautiful and brought me into such a grounded, rich place in myself. Thank you.
On the course retiring, does that mean the access goes away in January? That if I were going to purchase I’d need to go through it all now or is it downloadable to move through when I can?
thank you for this... <3 just what I needed