This Ways of Being in Public line of thought makes me think of Bob Dylan going electric, and changing again and again, and how hard it can be to do that publicly at any level, and how the stakes are both higher for a huge public figure and also higher for those of us who have just a handful of people that we are afraid on some level to disappoint/lose/whatever.
A friend mentioned recently that he had really appreciated when someone he was speaking with started a thought with, "I'm just thinking this in pencil ..." It's hard sometimes to even know what our changes are as we are going through them and we put a lot of stuff out there that's half-formed or murky and people respond to that and that makes the figuring out even murkier sometimes. So, I think it's great that you're taking space to make changes privately .... and also that you're putting some of it out there like this, in pencil, as you figure out your new shapes.
And this line, I’m gonna write it down and pin it on the wall: “let the unknowing be a place of what could be, of what could happen, of what could go well - not just a place of fear”.
Thank you, as always, for your words and your being.
I really enjoyed this post! Right now I'm reading "Raising Hell, Living Well" by Jessica Elefante. It has many of the same themes and I completely resonate with what you're saying.
Defining writing and creative work can be so complicated and there's so many lines in the sand that we have to draw that make sense only for ourselves.
I just read this again, Lisa. So sweet hearing your words in my head mixing with my own and striking some sweet resonant glow. This path creates the letting go that can just possibly bind us together as a people, remove the need for violence, and disable the foundations of intolerance.
As we "obliterate" our internal constrictions to expected behavior, responses, shared victimhood... etc., we expose ourselves to our potential as humans. We enable a transformation as a self and then as a culture to a future where our insides are the work-and-play grounds for growth, experience, and power - not the external conquest oriented path we have been brought up with for countless generations.
Thank you, again, for these insightful openings into consciousness and healing!
There's so so much wisdom in these words. Thank you - there was certainly some bravery in sharing their vulnerability. It is okay to be seen not knowing, anyone who thinks they know is in denial about just how uncertain and ungraspable life is. I hope you find peace with the uncertainties, I'm sure you are able to manage them all. And both the line "There’s grief in unfolding from the shrinking" and the image of feeling like "a baby giraffe on wobbly legs" really resonated with me. There's a lot of fragility and vulnerability in grieving and facing up to your fears. I keep reminding myself of how I am able to hold and soothe myself, gifting myself moments equivalent to your album drive I suppose, showing up with endless love.
A huge YES to #6. As I navigate life with my cohort of health quirks, sometimes I start thinking about what I could do to "get back to normal." At once a part of me challenges that with, "Why? Why return to a path I hated walking? Why not walk walk along the path I yearned to walk upon for most of my working life?" I need to be reminded of this now and again. Big Appreciation for your words.
Thank you for the mirror around learning to feel instead of think and the unexpected grief that has come in opening to those parts of myself, to listening to those parts of myself. And the reminder to not get stuck in it. To not turn grief into guilt. Instead, to turn towards the choice, the chance to choose differently. And what is possible in that wholeness.
The way I needed this medicine, and the way it also sounded like it came out of my own heart. In what feels like a neverending season of quiet (as a writer, the panic of that), of contemplation, of nothing that is actually everything. I am constantly resisting, constantly aching to figure it out, and little by little, surrending to the journey. It's nice to know I'm not alone. ❤️
This Ways of Being in Public line of thought makes me think of Bob Dylan going electric, and changing again and again, and how hard it can be to do that publicly at any level, and how the stakes are both higher for a huge public figure and also higher for those of us who have just a handful of people that we are afraid on some level to disappoint/lose/whatever.
A friend mentioned recently that he had really appreciated when someone he was speaking with started a thought with, "I'm just thinking this in pencil ..." It's hard sometimes to even know what our changes are as we are going through them and we put a lot of stuff out there that's half-formed or murky and people respond to that and that makes the figuring out even murkier sometimes. So, I think it's great that you're taking space to make changes privately .... and also that you're putting some of it out there like this, in pencil, as you figure out your new shapes.
Very much feeling like a wobbly baby giraffe 🦒🥹❤️
And this line, I’m gonna write it down and pin it on the wall: “let the unknowing be a place of what could be, of what could happen, of what could go well - not just a place of fear”.
Thank you, as always, for your words and your being.
This, as many of your letters do, coaxed my floodgates to open. Lots of tears. Lots of love. So much resonance. Thank you.
I really enjoyed this post! Right now I'm reading "Raising Hell, Living Well" by Jessica Elefante. It has many of the same themes and I completely resonate with what you're saying.
Defining writing and creative work can be so complicated and there's so many lines in the sand that we have to draw that make sense only for ourselves.
I just read this again, Lisa. So sweet hearing your words in my head mixing with my own and striking some sweet resonant glow. This path creates the letting go that can just possibly bind us together as a people, remove the need for violence, and disable the foundations of intolerance.
As we "obliterate" our internal constrictions to expected behavior, responses, shared victimhood... etc., we expose ourselves to our potential as humans. We enable a transformation as a self and then as a culture to a future where our insides are the work-and-play grounds for growth, experience, and power - not the external conquest oriented path we have been brought up with for countless generations.
Thank you, again, for these insightful openings into consciousness and healing!
Just a quick note to say I'm grateful for your thoughts, and I love your film photos.
So glad this was shared by Kerri ni Dochartaigh. Couldn’t be more right in place where I am wandering right now. Thank you.
Lisa, I believe becoming is our true state - always becoming. D
There's so so much wisdom in these words. Thank you - there was certainly some bravery in sharing their vulnerability. It is okay to be seen not knowing, anyone who thinks they know is in denial about just how uncertain and ungraspable life is. I hope you find peace with the uncertainties, I'm sure you are able to manage them all. And both the line "There’s grief in unfolding from the shrinking" and the image of feeling like "a baby giraffe on wobbly legs" really resonated with me. There's a lot of fragility and vulnerability in grieving and facing up to your fears. I keep reminding myself of how I am able to hold and soothe myself, gifting myself moments equivalent to your album drive I suppose, showing up with endless love.
A huge YES to #6. As I navigate life with my cohort of health quirks, sometimes I start thinking about what I could do to "get back to normal." At once a part of me challenges that with, "Why? Why return to a path I hated walking? Why not walk walk along the path I yearned to walk upon for most of my working life?" I need to be reminded of this now and again. Big Appreciation for your words.
Always my favorite, Lisa. And this Adrianne Lenker album !! Sadness IS a gift <3
#6 was just what I needed to read, reread, and reread again so it seeps into my soul
Thank you for the mirror around learning to feel instead of think and the unexpected grief that has come in opening to those parts of myself, to listening to those parts of myself. And the reminder to not get stuck in it. To not turn grief into guilt. Instead, to turn towards the choice, the chance to choose differently. And what is possible in that wholeness.
The way I needed this medicine, and the way it also sounded like it came out of my own heart. In what feels like a neverending season of quiet (as a writer, the panic of that), of contemplation, of nothing that is actually everything. I am constantly resisting, constantly aching to figure it out, and little by little, surrending to the journey. It's nice to know I'm not alone. ❤️
Thank you, Lisa. Beautifully human, vulnerably and honestly shared. Empathetically heard with big hugs.
❤️