"I guarded my heart from love because I didn’t yet know how to handle loss." This is how I have lived my life. It is why I don't have children. I thought I was protecting myself, and in some ways it worked. Loving something to me meant worrying about it and eventually grieving it. Until I figured out that the benefit of present love outweighs the risk of future grief. Grief and loss are unavoidable even if you build your life around trying to feel less of it. A life without love and risk is like living in the safety of a prison, and I'm slowly trying to break out of it. Thank you for highlighting this conundrum of life.
You touch on "leaning into momentum instead of staying comfortable in What Has Been," and it made me reflect on how insidious the "familiar path" can be. It’s not necessarily bad, but its very familiarity can lull us into a false sense of security, even if it's no longer serving our highest good. It reminds me of those days when I used to take the same route to work out of habit, even when there was a clearly faster, more scenic option available. The sheer inertia of routine can be a powerful force.
The real risk, then, isn't just in stepping onto a new path, but in actively choosing to disrupt the comfortable gravitational pull of the old one. It takes a conscious, often uncomfortable, effort to pivot, to say "no" to the known for the sake of the unknown, even when the unknown is brimming with possibility. Your essay is a beautiful invitation to embrace that exhilarating, albeit wobbly, momentum towards a more authentic self.
Gosh, you capture how it feels to be a mom. My heart breaks and soars every single day, multiple times. “She will never be smaller; I will never be younger.”
Thank you for sharing yourself with us. I feel this was written for me. I delayed motherhood for so long because I couldn't face the risk of loving someone so much. In making this risky decision (though my ego still fights it sometimes) I've felt so much start to unfurl in me. Growing life is like a truth serum and I'm painfully feeling all the other places I've chosen smallness and comfort to avoid being seen. And the grief of lost time and opportunity can cut deep. But here were are. Printing this letter out to keep at my desk ❤️
"What am I willing to risk my comfort for?" This is what we do--as mothers, wives, daughters, sisters. What a beautiful list! What is interesting to me is that in that risk is comfort itself. In connection->comfort; in possibility->comfort... in release ->comfort.... in wholeness->comfort...and yes, yes, love. Thank you!!
Needed this today. Thanks for wording my biggest challenge so well. Unfortunately, having risked, I’ve lost, a lot. It makes me hesitant and I hate being that way! Thanks for the reminder to take a chance!
I hear you on the loss - I understand this so. And yet I've also felt the gains... such a tender thing it all is. May the chances bring some unexpected goodness 💛
"I guarded my heart from love because I didn’t yet know how to handle loss." This is how I have lived my life. It is why I don't have children. I thought I was protecting myself, and in some ways it worked. Loving something to me meant worrying about it and eventually grieving it. Until I figured out that the benefit of present love outweighs the risk of future grief. Grief and loss are unavoidable even if you build your life around trying to feel less of it. A life without love and risk is like living in the safety of a prison, and I'm slowly trying to break out of it. Thank you for highlighting this conundrum of life.
"I'm slowly trying to break out of it" 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
I wish I could like this a million times. Thank you :)
Thank you for reading xx
You touch on "leaning into momentum instead of staying comfortable in What Has Been," and it made me reflect on how insidious the "familiar path" can be. It’s not necessarily bad, but its very familiarity can lull us into a false sense of security, even if it's no longer serving our highest good. It reminds me of those days when I used to take the same route to work out of habit, even when there was a clearly faster, more scenic option available. The sheer inertia of routine can be a powerful force.
The real risk, then, isn't just in stepping onto a new path, but in actively choosing to disrupt the comfortable gravitational pull of the old one. It takes a conscious, often uncomfortable, effort to pivot, to say "no" to the known for the sake of the unknown, even when the unknown is brimming with possibility. Your essay is a beautiful invitation to embrace that exhilarating, albeit wobbly, momentum towards a more authentic self.
Yes yes yes to all these words ✨
Gosh, you capture how it feels to be a mom. My heart breaks and soars every single day, multiple times. “She will never be smaller; I will never be younger.”
A breaking and soaring heart -- that's it 🧡
Thank you for sharing yourself with us. I feel this was written for me. I delayed motherhood for so long because I couldn't face the risk of loving someone so much. In making this risky decision (though my ego still fights it sometimes) I've felt so much start to unfurl in me. Growing life is like a truth serum and I'm painfully feeling all the other places I've chosen smallness and comfort to avoid being seen. And the grief of lost time and opportunity can cut deep. But here were are. Printing this letter out to keep at my desk ❤️
A truth serum -- yes 💛💛
As someone going through a loss so devastating that I feel my heart may never open as fully again — this read like a warm, healing hug. Thank you.
So grateful this reached you -- I know that feeling in my own way; sending more warmth your way 💛
Needed this one today, thank you for your words and your time. 🌾
Thanks for reading 💛
Sweet, complete. I do so agree - love, and life itself is at risk if we cannot accept and even invite risk. What a connundrum! 🥰
Ohhh yes! 🙏🏻
"What am I willing to risk my comfort for?" This is what we do--as mothers, wives, daughters, sisters. What a beautiful list! What is interesting to me is that in that risk is comfort itself. In connection->comfort; in possibility->comfort... in release ->comfort.... in wholeness->comfort...and yes, yes, love. Thank you!!
Oh yes! There is a comfort in no longer waiting and just trying. And trusting the unknown -- so much so. Thanks for sharing 💛
Wow, every word of this resonates so deeply in me. thank you
So glad it reached you 💛
I’ll be putting these affirmations up around my home—thank you—perfect timing 🪷
💛💛
So beautiful, this really resonates with me. 🤍
So glad 🧡
Thank you for this beauty. 🤍🙏🏽🤍
Thank you for reading 💛
<3 the grief of parenting and impermanence, oof. Feeling this and trying to find ways to be okay with it all
💛💛
I love you and your words, every week. I also love this feminist business framework..YAY private practice!
I love you! Spiraling back toward quiet & private feels really good.
Needed this today. Thanks for wording my biggest challenge so well. Unfortunately, having risked, I’ve lost, a lot. It makes me hesitant and I hate being that way! Thanks for the reminder to take a chance!
I hear you on the loss - I understand this so. And yet I've also felt the gains... such a tender thing it all is. May the chances bring some unexpected goodness 💛